Human Hardfork 1.0

Evolution usually does a good job at this, but it takes time and many people won't notice these changes in their lifetime. After reading @whatageek's 3rd unlikely ways to break up with someone this came to my mind and I started wondering how we could hardfork or fix human disabilities that are often just annoying or there for no real reason.

Source


Physical

  • Increased chance at sneezing successfully without having to look at bright lights
  • Increased control of hiccup rate and to postpone it at a later time
  • All humans now float on water
  • Increased reaction and sense to touching something that is really, really hot
  • Increased time of being without air
  • Decreased odds of biting your tongue or cheek mid eating
  • Dislodged eyelashes now have a smaller chance of going behind your eyeballs
  • Increased control of erections
  • Decreased how periods affect your mood
  • Decreased the zapping feeling of hitting your elbow in that one spot

Mental

  • Improved chances of falling asleep when you want to
  • Increased chances of experiencing lucid dreams and decreased the difficulty in controlling them - have fun!
  • Decreased motivation level of of getting your life together when you are about to go to sleep, balancing it out during the day
  • Decreased nightmare rates and its now easier to become lucid during them to change the outcome
  • Decreased cold-sweating when waking up from an uncontrollable nightmare
  • Feelings of love re-balanced to last longer and more even in a relationship
  • Memory of loved ones decreases faster the less you are in contact with them (this has been requested a lot)
  • Short-term memory loss improved - no more "why did I enter this room" or "I forgot his name when I introduced my own"

Feel free to add other ones you come up with in the comments, if its good ones that I haven't brought up here I will steal them for Hardfork 2.0 and you might be lucky to get a mention out of it.

Thanks for reading, may the fork be with you.

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