Since, for some reason, when I write about a person who identifies as non-binary calling young girls "kinky", the only response was criticism about why I didn't refer to this person by his preferred "they/them" pronouns.
I'm gonna explain why I won't use those pronouns in reference to an individual person who I can actually see. I'm open to criticism. If you change my mind, great.
First of all, as a preface, I have no problem whatsoever referring to trans people by their preferred pronouns. If you're presenting as a woman, I'll use "she/her" pronouns despite the equipment you were born with - my only limits are rare cases like Jessica Yaniv. Trans and non-binary are different. Even "allies" tend to clump them together.
So, stating the obvious, "they/them" are plural.
Yes, there's a singular "they." The singular "they/them/their" is commonly used in sentences like, "Everyone needs to turn in their homework." Technically, with the singular antecedent, the sentence should be, "Everyone needs to turn in his or her homework." but, that's clunky and most people just use "their." That's fine by me. It's a different thing when you're asking that somebody say, "Since they were late, Demi needs to bring their homework straight to my desk." In that case, that language doesn't come naturally to people.
That leads to another point: language is an emergent order. The best argument for the singular "they" applying to Demi Lovato is that certain lexicographers have decided that it's grammatically acceptable. That's not how it works. You don't change language from the top down.
Even if we were to accept that language can and should be changed from the top down, that's clearly not all that's being asked of people. They're trying to demand changes in social conventions regarding greetings. "Ask for a person's preferred pronouns just to be safe." they often say. Well, try to go to a cocktail party in DC and keep every name and every pronoun in your brain all evening. If Layshia Clarendon really does identify as "her/she" one moment and "he/him" another and "they/them" the next, you're kinda making social interaction a headache.
This is also a case where a slippery slope really isn't a fallacy. I don't need to say, "Well, they want us to refer to individuals as "they" now. Next they'll want us to use "zie" or "xe" or something." That's already happened.
It's also worth mentioning again that there are a lot of languages with no gender neutrality and this movement to remove gender from language in English has lead the woke to offend a great deal of people. A lot of Latinos and Latinas aren't too keen on a bunch of white Americans going around saying "Latinx."
Finally, this is an attempt to compel speech. Don't call me a conspiracy theorist when our neighbors to the North are legally punishing people over pronouns. We're just fortunate enough to be protected by the First Amendment. I'm not an expert on gender; but, I know that it's not entirely unrelated to sex. There are people who are more certain than I am that there are only two genders. You can call me and you can call them any name you want. What you can't do is tell us to lie. If I called Demi Lovato "they" I would be lying. If I called Sam Smith "they" I would be lying. If I called ALOK "they" I would be lying.
Your comfort comes a far second from the truth.