Back when I was young and dumb
...okay not that long ago I thought that being single meant using an online dating app would be a good way to meet my Prince Charming. Little did I know I was about to find myself knee deep in some of the most disgusting, weird, but overall hilarious messages from guys. I started to record them and thought they might make someone laugh one day as hard as I do when I read them.
Disclaimer: These were the very first messages I got from men. I did NOT message them first, nor have I changed any spelling or grammar. So if things are misspelled or sound weird, then you are just getting all the glory.
And now for the Worst First Messages from Online Dating:
1.) "What do you mean you aren't religious?"
2.) "3sum?"
3.) "We should make babies"
4.) "I recognise your pics I know I messaged you once upon a time. and in your profile you do say no man child and my profile may come across as one but answer me this. dose a man child own his own home, a car, have expensive hobbies AND goes camping as often as possible?"
5.) "Hey beautiful how you doing today. I was wondering if you be interested in hearing $2000 for 2-3hrs of your time by being my woman sexually for those hrs."
6.) "Now when you say "no drugs" does that mean weed too?"
7.) " Hi do you want to be my sugar baby? I own 5 gas stations and I am generous"
8.) "Looking for a girl I can ride as hard as my horse"
9.) "can you wear something lacy when you come over tonight"
10.) "Do you have a Valentine's date yet? I was thinking of Subway, but I could provide you with a footlong all by myself..."
11.) "Wanna fun?"
12.) "Hey would you like to chat n date indian men...?"
13.) "Text? I'll only message you 9 billion times a day"
14.) "If you were a tear in my eye I would never cry for the fear of losing you...or some shit like that.."
15.) "Can I be your first black guy?"
16.) "Hey how you doing. Let's fly to LA together u and me can look fresh together .... you are just perfect for my Girl"
17.) "Will you be my girlfriend"
18.) "Hi do you want to end the reign of the bourgeois with me"
19.) "Come over"
20.) "Lemme ask you something unusual that might either scare you or excite...have you ever fantasized about being with two men at one"
Giph Link: https://giphy.com/gifs/reactiongifs-HBQDBqA3kgTrW/download
I hope you found this as crazy and hilarious as I did the first time I opened these messages. People cease to amaze me!
Go in a good way - @teggit