How to Lose Your Temper Online (With Dignity)
ONE: Completely lose your shit. Break things. (Try to limit breakage to small, inexpensive things you don’t care about.)
TWO: Wildly text your best friend in call caps. Example: I AM GOING TO LIGHT THIS MF UP WITH MY TWITTER FINGERS IF YOU DON’T TALK ME DOWN, GORL
THREE: Light the MF up with your Twitter Fingers. Have no regrets. (Regret is step five.)
EDITOR'S NOTE: NO PHOTOS AVAILABLE, SORRY.
FOUR: Make a rant video. If your BFF has not yet received the message and/or talked you down, keep going. You’re still on a roll.
FIVE: STOP. Consider the fact that your rant is on the blockchain and your lawyer “hates when you do that.” Repeat step two.
SIX: Go about your day. Tell the grocer, your husband and the mail man in detail about your Twitter fight.
SEVEN: Make dinner and have a nice glass of wine. You’ve earned it, soldier.
EIGHT: Repeat step five (multiple times).
NINE: Delete the video but not the tweets.
TEN: Delete the tweets.
ELEVEN: Wake up, make coffee. Turn your social media apology tour into a Steemit post, detailing the account and making it clear that you now see the error of your ways.
TWELVE: Repeat step one.