What's the old line? Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.
Well, over the past couple of days...my ears have been full fledged liars. Some of the stuff may ears think they've heard is completely wrong but funny as hell. I'll share one from earlier this week.
Dirty Laundry
My boyfriend and brother were in the laundry room washing their fishing gear. I'm in the my office on the other side of the laundry room. Like typical guys, they were talking about the fish they didn't get and whether to wash the next load if clothes in hot or cold water.
After a while I hear my brother Matt say something that made me jump up from my chair and go around the corner to the laundry room.
What I thought I heard was..."Man, just put your wet cock in there real quick!"
With that...I HAD to go see what was going on between my boyfriend and brother. I round the corner from my office, into the laundry room where I find my brother closing the dryer door and my boyfriend putting detergent into the washer. The two of them turn and look at me standing in the laundry room doorway. My face must have told them everything. My brother asks me...what's wrong sis? Me being me...always direct and honest...I ask....did you just tell Jimmy to put his wet cock in there real quick....where is THERE?!?!?!?!?!
They both look at me...then one another. Then they both start to die laughing. Tears start to stream down my brother's face from his laughter....my boyfriend's laugh has gone silent except for the harsh sound of him trying to draw air into his lungs.
After a few minutes my BF Jimmy says...Matt told me to put a rogue pair of my wet SOCKS in the DRYER real quick...I don't even want to know why you thought you heard wet cock!!
All I could do was say...OOPS...my bad!...and retreat to my office and close the door.
After I went back to my office and closed the door, those two must have laughed a good hour more. Every so often...one of the smart asses would say something like...Where do you want me to put my BIG WET SOCK...or...Are you going to just stand there with your WET SOCK in your hand...or...Your sock is so big and long. Those two will never let me live this faux-pa down.
To commemorate my moment of auditory dyslexia...they've asked another buddy do a wood burned plaque to hang above the dryers that says...Put Your Big Wet SOCKS in Me!
Sometimes, I hate those two :D
Until next time...Laugh 'til you can't breathe!
