"Remember mom said to go get the white stuff from the moo beasts," Merkel thinks. He always struggled with the names of things, which makes everyone think he is a bit thick. Merkel instead thinks there is a big name conspiracy.
From Merkel's point of view, people seem to be so focused on the names of things that they are not able to function well. Simple reasoning seems to be something that gets outsourced.
Not that he is complaining. Well, he is complaining, although Pfuguritariben paid him quite well to decide whether he is now dating Gheritudorakiki because she touched his arm; it is a nuisance when everyone acts that way.
Just last week they re-elected a corrupt mayor after he showed them a picture of burning money. The conclusion he burnt the money he stole therefore he is no longer corrupt.
Most criminals just wear a dress and change their names, which seems good enough, but the mayor could not do that again. His sister Mujifakolepigama still has bad blood for her more sickening appetites.
Small things like them at least remembering that the Mayor's "sister" was a vile human-made Merkel think there was hope.
He also knew that he was just lying to himself; if only to keep his sanity and head.
"Merkel, what must I put the microwave on for this Chikalapugiratemegon?" His mom yells from the kitchen.
One day he will know her name, for now, He is happy with calling her "Mom," Merkel gets up from his chair and goes to see what it is she is cooking.
"About 10 minutes Mom." He says looking at the bagged potatoes.
"These are a bit bigger than the last ones, and I put more in." She says as she opens the bag to let him inspect.
Merkel knows she is expecting him to now change his answer. "10 Minutes Mom, then poke them and if you think they are still a bit hard near the core then a bit longer." He turns around to go back upstairs, then quickly adds " A bit longer would be 3 minutes Mom."
So exact. Not because anyone cares about being precise or doing something correctly. Things need to be exact because they cannot comprehend how things are similar.
Obviously, it is not the whole world, he knows that. Merkel has been doing some digging and for the most part, a lot of the wealthiest, criminals and government scum have more memorable names.
Not to brag, but Merkel is glad he got the choice to name himself and chose something he found quite easy to remember. "Memorable," He thinks then smiles before continuing his research.
The vile mayor, for example, his name is just Jason. He changed it in office to one of the more local names, supposedly to seem more "approachable".
Clicking link after link, Merkel tries to balance the information and discern what is utter bullshit and what may have a grain of truth.
He is already convinced the whole naming of things has broader implications than just forcing people to have better memories. As is already evident just after a few generations, He thinks people have grown quite stupid. " Sorry Mom," Merkel quickly whispers, "...but facts don't care about your feelings." he finishes his thought then begins to read.