Here’s the thing, I am a girl. If you understand the depth of that statement, then my friend either you are a girl too or a great man who understands the shit a girl has to deal with from birth till death and even after that actually.
I do not understand why God willed us to be so, to live the life of hell in hell and still be promised nothing but hell, but I know one thing for sure, my heart will never accept the norm laid out by men for their own convenience. Yes, even if that means I do not get to live the magical ‘married’ life. I don’t care if a man won’t love me because I refused to accept his dominance. I do not understand how the world could even accept such a system where fellow humans are ‘supposed’ to live a life of criticism, frailty, oppression, and submission.
I for one believe that I do not need to be submissive to anyone but Allah however weak I may be and I guess what Allah wants from me is that I submit my humble self to a man, as soon as I can without any objections. Let him beat me, deject me, and let him keep me inside far away from the beauty of the world that He created.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
I do not know what is wrong with me, I do not know why my very heart objects, and I do not know why men are even allowed to be so scandalous because I swear to God, if this system was in my hands, I would long have gotten rid of anything that even hinted upon these ideas. What’s even more painful is the fact that women have made peace with this fact and my heart burns when I see mothers suppress their daughters, sisters scold their sisters and friends gossip about their friends bringing each other down.
We live in an unfair world where in one corner of it, a man lies in his bed complaining about having over ate where in the other corner a mother sacrifices her share on the dinner table for her still hungry kids with no confidence about where their next meal would come from or when they would be able to eat again.
Too much to handle? Well, it doesn’t really end here. A woman will bear another human within her for nine months and then suffer unimaginable pain to bear a child that she might never have wanted to bear in the first place. She will suffer from pain every month till her menopause when she is considered unworthy. Not to mention, in the regular monthly bleeding cycle, she is also considered gross and impure.
This world, is as complex and beyond comprehension as is my Lord, the Creator and the one in Whose hands my life rests. I do not have the freedom I lust for, I do not own the power I desire and I do not know what my future has in store for me, but I trust Him. He created this world with all of these complexities and I don’t understand why but I find peace and consolation when I turn to Him for help and condolences.
I have certainly made peace with the fact that I am a girl and that the Creator Himself wished me to be, but I shall strive to understand the ways before I can accept them. I know He exists because He has undoubtedly helped me in miraculous ways. I remember crying and the wind soothing me, I remember screaming silently in the darkness of the nights and His existence and words reassuring me that everything will fall into place. That He will not abandon me. I have been nothing close to what He expected from me, but He never abandoned me. He loved me. He loves me…
And in full knowledge of His love for me, I trust my fate, I trust the happenings, I trust me.
So when you go about, looking at me the wrong way, making fun of my existence, my ways, my looks, judging me for who I am or who I wish to be, know this too in your heart my friend,
You are criticizing the creation that Allah loves more than 70 mothers and I find peace to tell you that my Allah will protect me from your vices. Fear His wrath and the consequences of hurting me, or anyone He created at that. Do not use the privileges you have as a man or a woman to bring down another person, do not ask to respect a woman because you have a mother or sister at home but ask to respect a woman because she is a human.
Do not forget that you are dealing with humans and not toys.
Do not forget.
Do not forget.
Do not forget.