One thing’s for sure! Domestic violence is on the rise. As a society we have a responsibility to help protect those who are victims of domestic violence. Furthermore, it is equally as important to identify why domestic violence occurs in the first place and how we can stop it!
After extensive research I have narrowed down the list to a potential 10-main-reasons why an individual may become an abuser in their love relationship. Please note that these are just a rough guide and does not apply to every human-being that presents these traits in their personality:
#1 – Controlling personality
This may seem obvious but then again there are many controlling personalities out there in society who would never hurt a fly. However, if an individual is feeling threatened or undermined, this could be early warning signs. Even controlling personalities must acknowledge other people’s opinions. Especially their partner!
#2 – Below the line thinker
Below the line thinking is a term I like to associate with someone who cannot take responsibility for their own actions. For example, if I need to be on the other side of town by 11am, and I miss the 9.30am train, as a below-the-line-thinker I would blame the train or the weather… or anything that diverts responsibility away from me. However, if I was thinking above-the-line, I would take full responsibility for missing the train and would encourage myself to plan my commute better next time. Below-the-line-thinkers pose a potential risk for blaming their problems on someone else… Like a future loved one.
#3 – Traditional attitudes
This is usually a big-red-flag for most people. Someone who believes in traditional views, such as, women should be in the kitchen; or women are not equal to men. This type of attitude can be very toxic in a family home. If a potential partner is not living up to “Mr Traditional’s” views, then this could fuel the fire, so to speak.
#4 – Spoilt Brat
This is an obvious fact. If someone has been spoilt their whole life, it becomes an expectation in their love relationship as well. Someone use to getting their way can also generate unrealistic expectations from their partner in this day and age.
#5 – Anger problems
Someone who is quick to anger is potentially a big threat. Whether they are verbally or physically abusive, they can create a toxic environment around their peers and even love partners.
#6 – Safer the children
Sadly this is a vicious circle. It is more than likely, that any child who experience domestic violence during their childhood on a regular basis, may experience learning difficulties and unfortunately become a violent individual themselves – as they see it as normal.
#7 – Alcohol and drugs
An individual who is heavily into drinking and drugs – and cannot have a good time without these substances can raise serious alarm bells. As well as anger and financial issues being associated with an excessive drinker (or drug taker), they also process unpredictability. And perhaps this is what makes it so scary!
#8 – Previous victim of domestic violence
Previous victims of domestic violence can become the perpetrator. Again… I must stress that this is not all cases. But if you can imagine someone being abused since they left home and they only experienced that one relationship, then they may not know any better. On the flip side… victims of domestic violence can be very strong and independent people. In a majority of cases, they can find a suitable (abuse free) relationship afterwards.
#9 – Financially immature
Money Money Money!
Money is one of the number-one things couples will fight about. And of course, this can lead to physical and mental abuse. If a potential partner is financially immature, then it may mean they would not be able to budget well in the future.
#10 – Cultural influences
It is true that some cultures do not recognize Women as a Man’s equal. Rather, the women is still today treated as a slave. In a multicultural society this could be a problem where an individual, due to their cultural upbringings, may have a different point of view. However, as an individual, it is your right to be treated appropriately under the law of your country. Most places in the Western World do not recognize men as a superior to women.
Conclusion
Whether domestic violence will always occur is something we cannot predict. It is up to the community, friends, family and associates to always keep a watchful eye on our peers and ensure we constantly create awareness towards domestic violence. It shouldn’t happen but it does! Lets work together to stop it from happening!
