Since I just began here on Steemit, and I want to use this platform to primarily talk about my journey with parenting, I will start at the beginning. My birth story.
I was blessed to be living on the island of Kauai during my pregnancy, where a nurse midwife of over 20 years named Claudia self funded an amazing birthing center. (This center is no longer in existence since Claudia's death, however Hua Moon Women's Health Center is an amazing group of midwives in Kauai that are living Claudia's legacy.) Very early on in my labor, Ben and I drove the 15 minutes to the birth center, a beautiful 5 acre or so ranch. We were welcomed by our widwife, Colleen, into a private birthing cabin with its own indoor and outdoor birthing tubs, a private kitchen, a huge comfortable bed, and all the birthing tools you can imagine. There were handrails installed all over the place to support you during contractions, a double headed endlessly hot shower with chairs and stools, yoga ball, birthing chair, even a comfortable toilet with handrails.
Outside, the place was enclosed in a beautiful tropical garden to allow for private space. Further out was a salt water swimming pool to float in. The place had seen thousands of births over the years, it was imbued with a sense of shamanic energy, with the knowledge that many many souls had come through in this exact spot on the earth. It rang of safety and security. Everyone on the property knew that it was a place for birth. You could wander anywhere, with or without clothes, in any state of labor, vocalizing whatever tones came to you.
In my opinion, one of the most important things that a woman needs during her labor is a sense of security. Every woman needs to look deeply inside herself to discover what would make her feel safe and comfortable and make arrangements to try and deeply meet those needs during labor. For me, I knew that any sense of worry would be distracting and detrimental to my process, so I told all three midwives that I didn't want to be told any medical updates and to tell my partner, Ben, anything they needed to communicate. He was then entrusted to make any decisions and to only notify me if it was absolutely necessary. I took it a step further and asked them all to intervene as little as possible during the whole labor. When they needed to come in to check our STATS, they quietly tiptoed in and quickly did the work they needed to do, leaving us alone to focus.
We were also blessed to have a doula who was a midwife in her own right. I highly recommend hiring a doula. A doula is a birth assistant to the mother, and is there to help you in any way she can, even after the birth. Willow helped me immensely in so many ways, most importantly by gently probing me to try not to "make myself as comfortable as possible" to get through the contractions. She encouraged me to fully allow myself to go into the contractions to make them more effective.
One of the other things that really helped me was the previous and firm decision to have an unmedicated birth. Research shows that epidurals reduce endorphin levels, which can interfere with bonding. "Instinctive behaviors triggered in the mother in response to the infant immediately after birth promote her bonding with the infant and thus support the infant's survival," according to http://www.healthofchildren.com/B/Bonding.html. After talking to many other mothers about their experiences, I came to the conclusion that if are drugs are present in the bloodstream of the mother and child, they can miss out on the bonding opportunity present in the first hour after birth. It is my belief that this is a risk factor for postpartum depression in the mother. It was so incredibly helpful to be firm in my decision about this ahead of time. During the birth, the thought of dulling the pain was never even an option in my mind.
The journey of Gaia's birth was a life changing one, and the entire story is very long. I have been asked many times what was helpful to me during labor. In addition to the above, here are some other elements that were crucial to me:
- Unlimited coconut water
- A small group of carefully chosen people to be present for the birth
- Giving a specific job to everyone present
- Dim lights
- Walking outside during labor
- A birth alter
- Music that you love
- Massage
- A birthing pool
- Hot showers
- Prenatal yoga
Please let me know if you have any questions about my experience, and I look forward to posting more about parenting soon!