A smart writer would typically build up to a grand finale. Well... no one ever accused me of being a smart writer. When looking for life lessons in the movie Batman Begins, it is impossible to top, "Why do we fall Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up." So I am not even going to try.
But that is not where the value of the film ends.
When I sat down to watch Batman Begins with my son Timmy earlier this week, that was the only lesson I was planning on teaching my son. I figured after that, we could just sit back and enjoy my favorite super hero origin story. However, by thirty minutes into the movie, I realized I was completely wrong. This movie was packed with teachable moments and conversation starters.
Shortly after the scene involving Bruce falling into the well, he has a nightmare. Of course his father comes to console him. That is what father's do (sometimes its the geeky dad learning or being reminded of a lesson). As Thomas Wayne comforts his son, he explains that the bats in the well attacked Bruce out of fear because, "all creatures feel fear".
This scene sparked a dinner conversation with my son. I asked him about the line. He and I discussed the fact that not only is fear natural, it is essential. It is fear that helps us to survive. We talked about how chemicals in our body are released in order to help us act faster in times of fear. But that was all just a ninja smoke screen. I really wanted to make sure that he understood it was ok to be afraid. We all get scared. It is how we act when we are terrified that matters. Successful people (or creatures) are the ones who can learn to face their fears and not be paralyzed by them.
Then I reminded him of the time he stood at the plate and faced the biggest, scariest and hardest throwing pitcher he had ever seen. Sure he struck out... but he didn't wilt. He faced him. He took his swings. He made his dad proud.
I reminded him of this for a couple of reasons. First, so that he could remember how he had felt and how he had overcome his fear. If he could do it then, he would be able to do it again. I also told him in order to remind him that I remembered what he had done and that I was confident he could conquer his fear. I will take any excuse to remind my son that I believe in him... and more importantly that he should believe in himself.
Thank you Christopher Nolan for providing that opportunity!
While we were on the subject of fear, I brought up a line that the gangster Carmine Falcone directed at Bruce Wayne when he confronts the criminal in a restaurant. As Falcone is mocking Bruce, he points out that the billionaire is afraid because he does not understand the criminal world. Falcone reminds him that "you always fear what you don't understand".
I took this as a perfect segue into talking about how ignorance causes fear... and like any good Star Wars fan, Timmy knows that "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate". I explained how this ignorance leads to many problems in our world today such as racism or prejudice against religious groups. We discussed the fact that if people took the time to get to know people from different groups, they would understand that they shared far more similarities with these people than there were differences. This knowledge could alleviate the ignorance-induced fear that leads to the anger of which Yoda speaks.
Did that just happen? Did this whackjob hanshotfirst just squeeze a lesson on combatting prejudice out of a throwaway line by a gangster in a Batman movie?
I told you I know how to annoy my kids by constantly "teachering" them.
Not all of these lessons need to lead to 45 minute long philosophical discussions in-between bites of meatloaf. Sometimes a "lesson" merely requires a nudge and a head nod.
Perhaps "lesson" is the incorrect term for this next one. Is there a better word to describe "something my son needs to know and never, ever, forget"?
I guess that sounds like a lesson. But... whatever. That is not important.
What is important is that this one is even more essential than my son learning to pick himself up, to face his fears, or to not allow ignorance to fuel his fear.
When Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham to attend the parole hearing for his parents' murderer, he is furious. He yells at his butler (and father figure) Alfred that he would like to tear down their mansion. Alfred reminds him of the family history tied to this home. Bruce snaps back, "Why do you give a damn, it's not your family!"
To this Alfred responds...
"I give a damn, because a good man once made me responsible for what was most precious to him in the whole world."
"...most precious to him in the whole world."
A nudge and a nod is all it took.
My son understood what he is to me.
I will do my best to ensure he never forgets it.