I have convinced my children that Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter series is the absolute epitome of courage. If you'd like a full explanation as to why I feel so strongly, please check out my second ever post titled: Life Lessons from a Geek Part One: Harry Potter('s friend) the epitome of courage.
Neville stood up to The Dark Lord while wearing a cardigan sweater. That is bad ass!
If you don't have time to look at two year old posts, here it is in a nutshell:
Neville Longbottom may be the weakest wizard in the entire series. He struggles with spells, flying, and potions. He is not physically strong. He is not incredibly smart either. However, Neville does his part in every battle. He is the one who leads the students when Dumbledore and Harry are gone. At the epic Battle of Hogwarts, even though he is battered, limping and beaten, Neville is the first one to step up and defy Voldemort. Even if no one followed him, Neville would never give up.
That's real courage that a child can learn from.
Don't get me wrong, stepping into the spotlight when you know you are the best at something (or you are "the chosen one") still takes courage... but not nearly as much as it takes to step into that same spotlight when you are just a "regular" kid.
There are some things that my children are truly great at, but not everything. My kids aren't prodigies that will make their way around the talk show circuit. They are regular kids... and they are brave.
As a parent, I feel it is my responsibility to provide my children with opportunities to be brave. How else will they learn to persevere as adults if they don't practice it as children?
Last week, my 13 year old son and 10 year old daughter each had a chance to to show what they are made of. They did. And I am proud.
This opportunity to have a Neville Longbottom moment took the form of a solo musical performance in front of an old and stoic judge whom none of the children had ever met before. Budding musicians from all of the junior highs and grade schools congregated at a neighboring high school in order to face a difficult challenge and to see if they would wilt under the pressure.
I have written several times about the importance of sports. Athletic competition provides essential opportunities for children to face adversity in a relatively safe environment and to prove to themselves that they can handle pressure.
Performing music provides the exact same experience.
In both cases, children must practice in order to master a skill to the best of their ability. Then she/he has an opportunity to perform that skill in front of an audience. Hopefully, they learn that the more you practice, the more confident you feel. The more confident you feel the better you perform. Most importantly, they hopefully learn that if they fail, the world does not end. They learn that they can practice more and try again. These are essential lessons for every child to learn.
Hopefully, they also learn that people who love them will continue to love them no matter how they perform. More importantly, they learn that they should still love themselves even if they fail.
If they can learn all of that if they fail, imagine how much they can learn when they succeed! They can learn that practice pays off and that one's success is directly correlated with how much effort he/she puts in. They can learn that being courageous enough to step into that spotlight can lead to a feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration they could have never felt if they never left their comfort zone. They can learn that taking a risk leads to big rewards. I do not mean trophies or medals. I mean internal rewards of feeling proud of oneself for stepping up to a challenge and dominating it.
Most importantly, they should learn that the only true failure, is not trying.
Both of my kids won last week.
They didn't even need any last second Dumbledore points in order to win!
MJ, who is normally very shy, performed very well and was extremely proud of herself. She learned that all the practice she had put in over the past several months had paid off. She will ride that wave of enthusiasm and confidence to improve even more.
Timmy was not pleased with his performance. He thought he could have done better. When I asked him what he was going to do about it, he said "practice more next time". He will ride that wave of determination and perseverance to improve even more.
Neither wilted under the pressure.
Both are going to continue to work hard in order to become stronger.
Each had their own Neville Longbottom moment...
and an extremely proud set of parents.