In Spite of Yourself
“How much do you weigh now”, my personal trainer asked me.
“245”, I replied.
“I haven’t seen you in the gym in a month. How much did you weigh last month?”
“235.”
“What’s your goal weight?”
“220.”
“So you gained 10 pounds when you wanted to lose 15?”
“Yes.”
“How’d that happen?”
“My funds were low, and fast food is cheaper than healthy food.”
“You didn’t prepare and pack your meals?”
“No. Things were getting crazy at my job and I was working late and getting up early, so I didn’t have time to cook.”
“You know you could have saved money in the long run by preparing your meals, right?”
“Yes.”
“Did you eat fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner? That can get pretty expensive, you know.”
“No, but they had food at my job. It was all junk food… pizza, chips, cookies and sandwiches. I didn’t have to spend a dime, though.”
“So you’re neglecting your personal health goals because of your job?”
“In a way, yes. I didn’t quite look at it like that.”
“Man, all I hear are excuses coming from you.”
This used to be a common theme between my trainer and I. The subject matter may have been slightly different from time to time, but the general pattern remained the same.
Get Out of Your Own Way
How many times have you prevented, delayed or abandoned your goals because of excuses?
Most of us are guilty of this in one way or another, and it manifests in thousands of different ways.
My personal favorite coming out of college was…
“I can’t get a job because my GPA is too low. No one will hire me. No one will even give me a chance. They’re missing out on a potentially good employee over some grades.”
It’s very easy to make excuses. They provide convenient reasons you can point to for not achieving a desired result. Much of the time, these excuses are aimed at external circumstances, when in reality, it’s what’s going on inside of us that creates the excuse.
Looking internally is very important. When we can be honest with ourselves, we can uncover the real reasons why we make excuses, and once we understand that, we can start taking responsibility. Taking responsibility is critical, because once we learn to do that, then there can be no excuses. It then becomes a matter of, did you, or didn’t you?
Do Not Fear Success
I personally tend to make excuses when I am scared or fearful. When the excuses start rolling in and the my internal dialogue and/or thoughts turn negative, I quickly step back and ask myself, what is it that I am afraid of? When I am able to do that on a conscious level, I find that it empowers me to take action in the face of that fear, because the realization I generally have is that there really is nothing to be afraid of.
A trusted confidant once said to me, “I think you’re afraid of success.” I initially thought, how preposterous. You must be joking?!? When I think about their statement and the context in which it was made, I believe they were 100% correct.
Out of fear, I have sabotaged myself hundreds (possibly thousands, but definitely hundreds) of times, by letting windows of opportunity expire, alienating people who were trying to help me, and making a million excuses in the process. The whole time, it was very easy for me to sit on the couch and point fingers at other people, events and circumstances in order to justify why I was not reaching my goals.
Self-Discovery
In reality, all I had to do was look inward. While it was not an easy thing to do, since it uncovered flaws and insecurities, the process of self-discovery was priceless. I have also found that this enables me to be honest with myself, and ask the right questions:
*Am I doing everything in my power to achieve a desired result?
*Are my actions consistent with my desires?
*Am I making excuses?
*Am I wasting time with frivolous things?
This may seem like a bit of a let-down, but the best way to avoid falling into the excuse trap is to DO SOMETHING.
The Process Is Hard
Achievement is not necessarily attractive. One of my greatest accomplishments in the corporate world came after months of long days, long nights and a ton of frustration in order to produce a finished product. It was such a high visibility project that there was no room for excuses.
When I received an award for the work, I remember thinking if all of my fellow award recipients went through half of what I went through in order to receive this award, then I have to reevaluate how I approach life. Forget about being great, for a minute. The reality was that the auto-pilot level that I typically operated at was far below the level required to achieve anything that was even relatively good.
I had some valuable takeaways from the experience. Mainly, hard work and consistency will pay off, even when you aren’t the most talented individual.
It won’t turn itself on. You must put in the work.
Wrapping it up
Create your goals and make them realistic. Every day, take consistent action toward achieving those goals. Realize that the process of achievement is a marathon and not a sprint, and the next time you find yourself making excuses, take a look inward. You may be surprised at what you find.
“Perform small and consistent actions every day, and you will succeed, even in spite of yourself.” -Rick Jackson