Sad, but Thankful.

Greetings, Steemians.

I meant to write this post last week. I even started it, but I felt I would not be able to think straight until I heard from my son, José Andrés. Today, I heard from him. After an exhausting and nerve wrecking eight-day bus journey from Cumaná, Venezuela, he has made it safely to Lima, Perú. My son has joined the millions of Venezuelans who have been forced to leave our country, afraid they may fall victims of: starvation, lack of medicine, crime, or government persecution (whatever gets you first).

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My son, like those who had left before him, like those who plan to leave as we speak, got tired of deferring his dreams. Like the speaker in Langston Hughes’s poem, he felt he was going to either rot...

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or explode.

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We have counted in the hundreds the number of youth who have been killed in anti-government protests; thousands have been arrested, their reputations ruined under farfetched accusations of terrorism. He did not think he had the guts to join those statistics. He has a son to answer to.

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He got tired of working his ass off to make just enough money for one or two items every 15 days. He got tired of the endless lines to buy food a bit cheaper, at the cost of his dignity.

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He got tired of saying no to my grandson, Jose Miguel, every time the kid asked for or needed something (from the simplest things like a candy, to more urgent matters, such as medicines, food, or clothes). He got tired of being emasculated, not being able to provide for his family, or prove his worth as the talented young man he is.

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He got tired of the government that denied his generation a future.

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Almost three weeks ago, my son told me that finally, after a 17-month-wait he had a clear chance to leave the country. An opportunity had presented itself to travel with a cousin of his, who would share his traveling money with him. He needed to get at least $50, though.

17 months ago, I had been able to get him $100. For different reasons, he could not travel and all that money was spent on food. 13,000% inflation later, to get just $50 meant to borrow a whole year's worth of my college professor salary. That’s how bad things are in Venezuela now. I was paralyzed at the prospect of my son loosing his best chance to leave this nightmare, just because I was not be able to help him out. And that’s when @curie upvoted my post: https://steemit.com/english/@hlezama/subverting-the-scriptural-tradition-part-iii. As you can imagine, it was a rush of mixed feeling: happiness and excitement for a reward to my efforts, mixed with the intimidation of being up to the reputation that came with it; but more importantly, happiness for seeing an economic reward bigger than any salary compensation I had received so far. As a matter of fact, the 37+ SBDs that ended up being my author’s reward, amounted to more money my university owes to fellow faculties who retired last year, after 25-30 years of service. That’s how bad things got here.

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I felt happy and sad at the same time: I was able to tell my son confidently that he was going to leave; that we would not stop at anything then; that he could start making plans. I was able to borrow all the money he needed for supplies for the journey and the so coveted and hard to get American dollars. This would obviously leave me back where I was before the @curie upvote, but knowing that my son was free from these shackles was more than worthy! Loosing my son saddened me, though. I know things can get very tough for immigrants. He would be alone for a while and sooner or later it will hit him.

Yet, I wanted to thank @curie and all those who, by supporting @curie, make it possible for them to operate this kind of magic. I will continue writing the kind of post @curie judged worthy of their support. To know that there is in Steemit a demanding audience that values hard work and dedication to scholarship is stimulating. Regardless of the future support my posts may get (I am by now fully aware of how @curie works), I will continue providing this platform with some of what I find valuable for human beings to know and read about. The joy @curie gave me by helping me liberate my son from this hell is the best compensation any father can get, let alone a scholar.

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I am confident my son will succeed and hopefully come back to this land of his, when things change and we wake up from this nightmare. I hope he can enjoy again the blueness of this dry land he loves so much. The blue our dear poet, Cruz Salmerón Acosta, immortalized in his poetry:

Azul que del azul cielo emana,
y azul de este gran mar que me consuela,
mientras diviso en él la ilusión vana
de la visión del ala de una vela.

[Blue that emanates from the blue sky,
and blue of this big sea that consoles me,
while I discern in it the futile illusion
of the vision of a sail's wing.]

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My Curie Story:

Sad, but Thankful.

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