The relationship is mutual and whole. And there's the other person. There may be strategies he can say yes or no. If we focus more on what he wants, rather than what he wants, that is to focus on the need for the action he proposes, we may have a dialogue where the needs are put on a table, rather than a single strategy is proposed and imposed.
For example, I want to go to the movies, my darling wants to read books at home. I need fun, change, sharing, and closeness, and he needs rest and learning. Instead of having a cinema or staying at home or going to the cinema with you, it is more likely that there is a middle way in which the needs of the two sides are taken into consideration.
What keeps us from saying no is the awareness of the scarcity of strategies that lead to evasion. When we say this, we can always realize that there is no clear yes or no for each offer. When we say no to something, we say yes to something.
It is precious to discover this whole within us and the other person. So when someone says no to you, no, think of the whole of it, instead of being taken over by yourself, and search for what it says yes.
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