Growing up I was fit loved to do gymnastics, spend all my time doing something that kept me fit then when I was 14 I jumped over a wall caught the tip of my shoe on the wall landing on my knee breaking it. For years I was in and out of hospital, 9 operations later now I am disabled and there's no going back.
After 9 operations I have refused anymore and the Specialist has agreed with me, there is far to much nerve damage around my knee plus I have far too much pain to deal with I really don't want anymore. My last operation was the hardest to get over, I passed out getting the stitches removed as they had been done far to tight,
My knee looked like a lump of meat.
Being disabled isn't being lazy it isn't something I would choose to be, If I had a choice I would be able - bodied, being able to do normal things like go shopping with my daughters, spending time together doing things we both like is out of the question. Whilst my girls were growing up most of the out door stuff, learning to ride a bike, learning to swim, etc was done with there dad, All I could do was sit and watch, I hated it, it broke my heart not being able to be part of there lives and achievements.
Now they are older and have there own live I am still limited to what I can do with them, they always have to come and see me, we can't go out as I can't walk very far and I'm in too much pain. I am hoping to get a mobility scooter to give me some life back but there quite expensive so have a bit of saving to do, then I just have to get the courage up to use it.
I am housebound, stuck in the house 24/7 looking at 4 walls is depressing and lonely. I can't even take my 2 little doggies out I have to rely on others to help. I hate being the way I am and often wonder why I am here. When I tell some people what my life is like they say " that sounds amazing, not having to do anything would be wonderful" Yeah it would be If a wasn't disabled, if I could do my housework and keep my house clean, come and go how I pleased BUT its not like that at all, its day in and day out of the same thing plus pain. Its not wonderful at all its HELL
 | Hi I am Karen, I am here to write about my life and read about yours.. If you like what you read please upvote and leave me a message so I can come visit you | follow me on Twitter |
|---|