Say you want to make a change in your life. What do you do? Will simply deciding to change your life someday make it happen? Probably not.
Will putting that decision in writing make it happen?Maybe, but probably not.
To make a significant change in your life, you’ve got to go about it the right way, or else it will fall by the wayside like a wish to start your own business, stop smoking, or learn a new language.
There’s a world of difference between a wish and a decision.The word decision actually means to cut off all other options.
That’s pretty decisive.
For many different reasons, some people have a really hard time making a decision. Maybe they’re afraid they’ll get themselves into a bad situation with no way out. Maybe they fear they’ll fail, so they don’t even go for it. Maybe they’re worried about what other people will say. Even though many people would certainly say they wish they could make more money, be happier, get along better with others, get in shape, or live in a healthier way, for most people, it’s always just a wish. Moving from wish to decision is crucial for anyone who wants to make a big change.
We make decisions all the time, whether we’re aware of it or not. Some decisions are made on auto-pilot, and that works well in some cases, but not in others. When you engage in a bad habit, you’re making a decision to continue self defeating behavior. When you engage in positive behavior, you decide to do that, too. We make decisions based on our thoughts and emotions. Then our decisions bring about our actions, and our actions bring about results.
So how do you do what you need to do? You start with a committed decision. What do you want? How do you plan to get it? What’s involved, what’s required of you in order to move forward toward your goal? One decision you make stays the same during the whole journey toward your dream – that decision is your goal, what you’re aiming for, what you want.
On the way there, you’ve got a host of decisions to make, too. Each day, you decide what attitude you’ll have, what you’ll do with your time and energy, how you’ll talk and think about your goal, what tactics you’ll engage to move forward. Each decision you make automatically cuts off lots of other options.
Pam decided to start a Network Marketing business last year. She decided that within a year, she’d be at the level where she’d get paid to drive a white Mercedes-Benz. She decided that she’d build her business by building a team of other motivated consultants. She decided that she’d do whatever it took to get to her goal, even if it felt uncomfortable. She’d do it even if it felt hopeless. She’d do it even if she didn’t feel like it. Each day, as she got ready to work her business, she knew what to do. This is because her decision determined her ‘to do’ list. She’d cut off her other options – it wasn’t an option for her to spend the day watching reality TV. It wasn’t an option to quit after ten people in a row said, “No thank you.” Now, a year later, she’s right on the edge of qualifying for that car! If she’d been wishy-washy all along, she’d probably have quit.
“A truly committed decision is the force that changes your life.” - Anthony Robbins
Here’s the rub – most of us struggle to make decisions because we’re not used to fully committing ourselves. We waste a lot of time using limiting language, language that leaves us an escape route. We say:
• I’ll try
• Maybe
• I wish I could
• I might
Making firm, committed decisions takes practice. You’ve got to watch what comes out of your mouth, making sure to use language that communicates your certainty, commitment and unlimited potential. It gets easier the more often you do it. It also helps to have someone else who can call your attention to any limiting language you use.
Of course, this brings up a big question. What do you want? It’s pretty hard to decide which route to take if you don’t know where you want to go! If you wanted to take a driving vacation from Maine to California, would you just hop in your car, head west, and hope for the best? No, of course not! You’d make a series of decisions before you took action. You’d answer questions like:
• Where in California do I want to go?
• How long do I want this trip to take?
• What would I like to see on the way?
• Where will I stay overnight during the trip?
• Can my car get me there?
• What preparations do I need to make before I leave?
• What should I pack?
• Who will come with me?
• How much will this trip cost?
You’d get a good map and plan your route. You’d schedule any sights you want to see on the way. You’d probably get an audio book or two to listen to on the way. You’d pack a suitcase full of everything you need to bring. You’d pack your cell phone in case you ran into trouble. There’s a lot of preparation – and it’s only a vacation!
When it comes to your life, should you plan less? If you don’t actively make decisions about your life, you’re essentially deciding that it’s not important enough. You’ll find yourself tossed here and there, never knowing whether you’re succeeding or failing, relying on old habits and behaviors, just wishing for something better.
The first decision you’ve got to make is what you want. Knowing that we live in a world full of possibilities, as people full of potential, your options are unlimited. But you’ve got to choose a destination, or you won’t know where you’re going or how to get there. Without a clear map, you’ll be blown off track by every passing difficulty and have no way to right yourself and proceed onward.
How do you decide what you want? Start somewhere – anywhere. Pick a topic:
• Your house
• Your business
• Your health
• Your relationships
• Your spirituality
• Your hobbies
• How you help others
Thinking about that one area of your life, begin to ask yourself detailed questions about all the particulars. Write them or draw them, so that you’ve got as much detail as possible on paper. The way you translate your decision into action, then into results, begins with your mind. You’ve got a wonderful, powerful resource at your command – your mind, and a great technology to put it to use – called Vision on Demand. But, you’ve first got to have your decision firm in your mind. What, exactly, do you want? Until this is absolutely spelled out, you give yourself an “out” – you’ll never be fully committed to a decision that’s vague. Only when your decision is detailed enough to become a solemn vow, can you proceed toward success. Get the details firmly planted in your mind, and on paper. Then, it’s time to roll the film!
Vision on Demand
Just like you may have Video on Demand as part of your cable or satellite TV service, your brain’s got something called Vision on Demand.
What happens when you go to the movies? You enter the theatre and take a seat. It’s dark so you’ll look at the screen rather than your surroundings. You’ve got to turn off your cell phone so you don’t ruin the sense of suspended reality for the other moviegoers. You sit, watching. If it’s a compelling movie, you feel completely drawn in. You jump when it’s startling, you laugh and cry when the story calls for it – you’re pretty much at the mercy of the people who made this movie. Your emotions follow suit. You are so into it that it almost feels jarring when you return back to reality. A great film impacts you so that you still feel it after it’s over, and your mind is drawn back again and again. You roll the plot subtleties over in your mind, wonder what the characters were thinking, replay the soundtrack until it’s tattooed on your brain, and feel like you could easily run the dialogue lines with your friends.
Vision on Demand works the same way.
You can use this Vision on Demand technology to harness the engine of your imagination to gain a clearer picture of your success. By visualizing your peak performance, your achievement, you imprint the details on your mind. Create an image in your mind of your goal. Be as detailed as you can be, including all your sensory factors, until it’s as real to you as if you were actually living it.
Kate’s goal is to one day live on Sanibel Island in Florida. She’s visited there many, many times, and knows the place like she knows her hometown. When she utilizes her Vision on Demand technology, she closes her eyes and imagines herself driving across the causeway in her convertible. She crosses the bridge, enjoying the view of Ft. Myers to the left, and little islands to the right. Brown pelicans glide by, as if racing with her car. She comes to the stop sign at the end of the bridge and turns right. Making another quick right, she coasts down a street lined with live oak trees. There’s a wonderful canopy overhead, and dappled sunshine on the road. She turns left just before the waterfront, and sees her home at the end of the road. It backs onto the Gulf of Mexico, which is pale green in the sunlight today. There are date palms and Washington palms lining the driveway. A white wrought-iron gate swings open, and her car rolls into the driveway. She hears a solid “thump” when she closes her car door. She can feel the cool metal of her key as she unlocks her door, the rush of cool air-conditioned air as she steps into the foyer. She sees a large pedestal table. On it is a gigantic, exotic fresh flower arrangement, and a note from her husband. “Be back for dinner – I’ll bring fresh grouper and a bottle of wine.” She changes into her bathing suit and slips into the refreshingly cool plunge pool on her lanai. Ahhhhh – she relaxes while watching some dolphins swim up the coastline.
Sounds pretty fabulous, doesn’t it?
Are you thinking that the fantasy sounds good, but the idea of anything productive coming from spending time imagining is just plain silly?
Think about this. What happens when you worry? You focus on a problem you’ve got. Your mind plays out all bad outcomes possible.
You’ll be humiliated. You’ll be shown to be a fraud, incompetent. You’ll suffer bad consequences. Others will look down on you. On and on it goes. Right when your stomach starts to knot and churn, you push the eject button.
Essentially, there’s not much difference in the process between the Florida fantasy and the headache-inducing dread. It’s a process like rehearsing. You’ve conjured up a synthetic experience – it hasn’t actually happened, but you can feel it all the same. You can imagine it happening. You’re even motivated to take action based on what you’ve imagined. In the worry model, you’ve played out every detail – the feelings, what you’ll see and hear, how you’ll act, what everyone will say – it’s all unpleasant. In the fantasy model, you’ve played out the same details, but it’s desirable enough that you want to make it happen.
As you go about deciding what you want for your life, spend time using the Vision on Demand technology for every area. The more you practice using it, the easier and more automatic it becomes. You begin to fill in more details each time, and see it more clearly. In doing this exercise, you imprint your wishes on your sub-conscious, which has no choice but to make it so.
Using your Vision on Demand technology will also help you when you run into obstacles on the way to achieving your dream. Whether or not obstacles stop you dead in your tracks depends on how committed you are to start with.
If you’ve only got some vague idea about someday maybe living a better life, making more money, or getting into good shape, you’ll be easily distracted. Our attention span is brief when we’re not fully vested in our goal.
Joel wants to lose weight. He’s tired of feeling sluggish, looking round, and having to let his belt out on a regular basis. He decides to do something about it. He’ll walk every day, watch what he eats, and cut back on the beer. It’s a good plan, he thinks, and he wakes up Monday morning feeling full of purpose.
And then comes Monday Night Football.
His buddies arrive at the door, bearing pepperoni pizza. Another guy puts a case of beer into the fridge, chucking the bag of carrots and the bottled water out onto the counter in disgust. Within minutes, Joel has eaten everything he could get his hands on, completely forgetting his earlier decision. Later, he thinks, “If only I could get motivated enough, I could do this.” He throws in the towel until the next time his waistband feels too tight.
What went wrong? Joel’s goal was pretty vague to start with, he had no real plan, nothing to tie his motivation to action, and no preparation to deal with the inevitable challenges he’d face. A more richly detailed image of his goal would have provided him with a glimpse of success so real he could feel it. He could have rehearsed what he’d do when met with bumps in the road.
Having a detailed image in place is really helpful because it keeps us focused on and actively creating the result we decided to create. It completely revolutionizes our concept of failure. It makes us brave enough to try something we or others haven’t done before, or something we’ve tried before without success.
Winners in life are not people who’ve never failed. They are people who’ve probably failed more than other people have ever even tried new things. What separates winners from the rest is that they’ve learned how to move past failure, keeping their goals in sight all along the way. It takes courage. It takes commitment. It takes a clear and detailed dream and a plan.
If you regularly spend time utilizing the Vision on Demand technology, you are consistently imprinting your goal onto your subconscious mind. When you choose to spend time thinking about what you want, in great detail, you stay motivated. Imagining your success as if it had already happened starts a process by which your mind works to make it happen. Then, if you have setbacks along the way, they’re perceived as small annoyances rather than insurmountable obstacles. In fact, your mind doesn’t even recognize them as setbacks at all anymore. They’re merely signals to adjust your course so that you’re aimed more directly at success.
It’s a lot like flying in a jet plane. Most of the time, in spite of the pilot’s expertise, the navigator’s excellent skills, and a well-designed flight plan, your plane is technically off course. Yet you end up at your destination without ever knowing that you were, technically, lost! The plane’s systems are programmed to get you from point A to point B. But lots of little factors impact the flight so that slight modifications must always be made to keep the plane on course. When you create your vision, it’s like filing a flight plan. You know where you’re going, your mind is following your orders, and you set about getting to your destination.
As you go forward, you run into obstacles, challenges, and you find yourself with a choice. You could just throw in the towel, abort your trip, come up with a bunch of excuses, and say, “Oh well. I tried, but it just didn’t work.” Or, you can course correct and keep going.
The decision’s just the first part. You commit yourself to following through, to the path you’ve chosen – no matter what. You contemplate the obstacles you’re likely to encounter and commit yourself to moving past them rather than quitting. You can’t curse in the darkness what you decided in the light. You reflect on your decision often, reminding yourself of your goal and all the particulars of your commitment.
“The way to develop decisiveness is to start right where you are, with the very next question you face.” - Napoleon Hill
And then you act! Any true decision is followed by action. Taking consistent actions that you’ve decided to take in pursuit of your goal has an almost magical effect. Action brings results. Results reinforce your resolve and help you build momentum. The more momentum you’ve got, the easier it is to push past the barriers that seem to be in your way.
It all starts with your decision. A firm, well thought-out decision, complete with a plan and a vision brings you to the point of making a solemn vow to yourself, a covenant. You’re not going to back out of this – you’re in it for the long haul. You’ve cut off every other option. You’ve thought about this so much that you can roll the film on demand. You can see, hear, taste, touch and smell it because you’ve fleshed out every detail in with your Vision on Demand technology.
Spend time everyday with your vision. Make it so detailed you can almost see it on a screen. Use it to guide and motivate you, to keep you going when things get tough.