What's Actually Wrong with the Beanie Babies Comparison (+Bonus Userscript)

A few weeks ago, someone (not John Oliver) posted a humorous video comparing Bitcoin to Beanie Babies. Coindesk, using reasoning and logic, explained why John Oliver's Beanie Babies comparison is wrong.

Meanwhile, I responded to the humorous video comparing Bitcoin to Beanie Babies at the same rhetorical level as a video (shown with minor modifications):

  • Beanie Babies didn't become tools for money laundering or drug trafficking.
  • Scam artists didn't demand payments in Beanie Babies.
  • No one argued that Beanie Babies is a "store of value".
  • No Greeks considered to purchase Beanie Babies during the Greek Debt Crisis.
  • No one purchased a Lamborghini using Beanie Babies.
  • There are no Cboe Beanie Babies futures contracts.
  • There are no hedge funds containing Beanie Babies.
  • No banks banned the purchase of Beanie Babies using credit cards.
  • There are no armed robberies of Beanie Babies.
  • There was no SEC hearing on Beanie Babies.
  • Canada Pension Plan Investment Board didn't pay serious attention to Beanie Babies.
  • There is no article on Seeking Alpha saying "Institutionalization of Beanie Babies makes something inherently worthless to be an "asset" on the balance sheet, a clear repeat of 2008."
  • UK Prime Minster Theresa May didn't seriously consider taking action against Beanie Babies.
  • Bill Gates didn't say Beanie Babies "caused deaths in a fairly direct way".
  • Beanie Babies died once, but Bitcoin died 263 times and counting.

Beanie Babies = high-speed car crash
Bitcoin = Mr. Bones' wild ride
Walk away from the car crash, and join Mr. Bones' Wild Ride!

These examples are based on real news headlines about Bitcoin (and cryptocurrencies in general), except with Beanie Babies. The point is that Bitcoin has been taken seriously by both its supporters and detractors. Bitcoin has helped people living under financial crisis and untrustworthy governments. Recently, some financial institutions considered to invest in cryptocurrencies. This shows that important players are acknowledging the continued existence and predictable scarcity of cryptocurrencies.

Even the detractors of Bitcoin take Bitcoin's impacts seriously. Aside from the usual "Bitcoin has zero value and it's a Ponzi scheme", some detractors mentioned Bitcoin mining's contribution to climate change, and Bitcoin mining is banned in some cities due to its disruption to low-cost electricity. Bill Gates said cryptocurrencies has "caused deaths in a fairly direct way".

Comparing Bitcoin (and other cryptocurrencies) to Beanie Babies is ignoring both positive and negative impacts of Bitcoin. Comparing Bitcoin to Beanie Babies is failing to take Bitcoin seriously. More importantly, comparing Bitcoin to Beanie Babies is failing to respect (or fear) Bitcoin.

Bitcoin to Beanie Babies Userscript

Want to enter an alternate universe where Beanie Babies became the next Bitcoin? I have made a userscript, based on the Cloud to Butt extension, to replace every mention of "Bitcoin" and other cryptocurrency terms to Beanie Babies. If you are using Chrome or Safari, you need to install Tampermonkey before you are able to install this userscript.

View userscript here. Click "Raw" to install

Screenshots of Bitcoin to Beanie Babies

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