![1725805784784.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/adaluna1973/245n7KCDvkQ3gvE3e6ErKWULUPd6Gb3tCJXxWXvVnn48YAebRK6Aw4q93FezFXRrTJJNi.jpg) --- ***Life must be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards".*** ***Søren Kierkegaard.*** --- Yes, I hesitated for a second but after reading others it became more than clear to me that I could do it too: cheer up! We all carry a bag on our backs full of moments that we would like to throw over a cliff, luckily the bag is sometimes lighter and we don't even remember the insistent and sticky discomfort with which these difficult moments adhere to the threads of a sad monologue and dark of thoughts, on other occasions, the bag is only full of cold and far away moments covered in a gray dust that I almost never remember, and that is when it weighs the least. I have tried over the years not to add more heavy elements than I already have, and now that I think about it the best way to deal with them has been to release them from time to time, and expose them in a way that they understand that I didn't always have a choice, but if I could I would delete them completely. Responding to the weekend commitment, this is my entry to the topics prepared by our host @galenkp on: ***If you could choose two moments in your life to erase completely, what would they be and why? Use your own photographs.*** If you are interested in participating and learning more about them, [just click here](https://peakd.com/hive-168869/@galenkp/weekend-engagement-topics-week-222) Almost all of my moments that are in the bag have a common denominator: guilt. That is one of the things that mortifies me the most because maybe I had other alternatives but in the end they turned out that way. One of the moments that bothers me the most and that I would like to erase from my life was the one when I preferred to continue my studies and_{discard my pregnancy.} The eggs returned month by month so there was no problem, I was also very young and the priorities were different: finish a degree, work, enjoy my youth, and travel a lot, and yes, it was not in my plans have a child. ![1725804032802.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/adaluna1973/2449zEuCnBh8zDWQsvEcUu8kn2sX7mSpNnnkHwUKdKq6xdBroMsunsWWzimrKi4B4QtWo.jpg) It may seem selfish to you, but I was not willing to sacrifice any of my projects to have a child, plus I felt very dependent on my parents, and absurdly immature to raise a small child. I couldn't imagine changing diapers, spending sleepless mornings and making puree for a gluttonous baby who would only want to be attached to my breast all day long. The thing is that in fact I didn't like children, I was very, very afraid of them. > Those soft things that looked like newly born jellies caused me horror. _{The problem was that there were no second chances} Behind all that strong resolution that I assumed in my youth came moments of intense search and chest pains for not achieving every woman's dream: being a mother. Although from time to time I fervently insist that I don't like children, and that they are just pieces of meat full of poop and snot. So with a game of phosphorescent green flash I erase the moment when I entered a hospital and.... I started a new story. My second moment. My mother was a very strong-willed woman, and certainly not always very affectionate, but with the same force that I received a scolding, a caress from her was the most wonderful moment in the world. Only what she liked bothered me:stroking my head while she touched my hair very sweetly. Yes, ***a super powerful act between a mother and a son***, and I didn't know how to enjoy it. I always avoided her and told her - Oh no, mommy! - it just made me uncomfortable when she messed up my hair, and I don't know, maybe it was just her nails, she had long, thin hands like a pianist's, and the tips rubbed against me the head. Later, years later, she became seriously ill and something I did a lot of was accompany her in bed, sitting next to her while she caressed my head with great devotion. I still feel his long fingers making a very gentle journey from the nape of my neck to the center, and I remember the pleasant sensation that the warmth of his hand gave me while I wished that the moment was as slow as you would feel inside a black hole. So I would very gladly erase the moments in which I reject the beautiful and unique hand that only wanted to give me a wonderful caress. If I could. ![1725803969505 (1).jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/adaluna1973/23w2qS3yjY5EEFid1FjqucCWuNkHXeGcQo53wakjHVZGwoZxpJuoa2SaDjTnr3MBTHfC3.jpg) --- Now the bag weighs a little less, because humans are so strong that we balance ourselves with the good and the bad, or at least we try to build a life that allows us to emotionally survive the memories of the bag. I know that nothing can be erased, but we can accept life as it is, without getting carried away with everything we would like it to have been differently. ![1725803994293.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/adaluna1973/EoK8JdXve3nA18fpd2sJxCsPto2LcmVDbnfWC5yAhhCiZJgXZw2uFrTn5pmWp25Z6Fs.jpg) I propose a magic flash to put in a calm and peaceful place everything that makes you feel bad, because there is no reason to live a life of sadness when there is only one life to live. --- #### Thank you very much for reading. --- --- _{Photos taken with my Xiaomi Redmi 9C} _{Photos edited in Lightroom App} _{Translation using Google Translate} _{[Facebook link](https://www.facebook.com/yohana.martinez.71404976)} --- y que más da ser preciosamente imperfectos...png

y que más da ser preciosamente imperfectos...png

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