#consideration

ε=(´ο｀*)))唉，这还真是我的问题，我小肚鸡肠，我自私，我不服气，我使坏，我攀比，我假想敌……我不喜欢这样的我，就像当时和现在我就在自我反思，我也不好受的这么做，可是我好像已经被规训成这样的一个人了，我该怎么做，我必须坦然接受然后把这种坏的心理革除掉。

我感觉我现在写的乱七八糟，吶，这个话题实在复杂，没办法，自我剖析并不容易。 我的感性大于理性，我会对某些瞬间特别有感触，我也会产生一些莫名的行动，但是当感情持续发酵时，我会克制，我会自己避让，倒不是害怕，而是觉得没必要，没意思，到某个地方就够了——这倒是理性大于感性了。 我打个比方，如果把我现在的灵魂抽丝剥茧出来成另一个人，我都不知道怎么走进我的心里。

我的感性应当是大于理性的吧，从很多事情可以判断，但是我承担不起，我是个不耐烦的人，新鲜感来得快走得也快，即使我认清了这点我也无可奈何，我就这么的人，这没有办法，我托盘接受，可是我觉得再很难找到可以接受这样的人的一个人了吧——好像这么看来，我的理性大于感性。 我也说不清，玩真心话时有人问我我觉得自己是个怎么样的人呢，我绞尽脑汁想不到一个全面的回答，怎么样的答案我都不满意，我也就只能如实回答，对方表示理解。

皇天不负有心人，我终于完成了我的这个豪言壮志，12820字，两天的爆肝终于等到收获时刻了，多么不容易啊，但是我给自己也剪了一个抖音现在非常火的书法闪回视频，视频流畅播放的那一刻，我觉得所有痛苦煎熬都是值得的。那么从后面的内容以及之后的一整个月，我就要用我的这些内容来发帖了。

UU们,大家好! 应该有20天了吧,哈基媛我又回来了。 这20天真的相当忙碌,我总结了一下根本原因，应该与手机脱不了干系。 我太在意手机里的世界了,在意外界的变化,在意别人口中的大学生应该怎么度过大学生活,在意别人的评价,期待别人的看法,最后却总是扑空留给我一片遗憾懊恼。

感谢UU们对我的关心照顾，今天早上起来看到大家的评论我心里顿时流过一股热流，暖洋洋的，所以我在想我是不是把自己压抑的太紧了，有些东西不要自己一个人憋在心里生闷气，哪怕再荒唐再莫名其妙，说出来或许会找到合适的解决对策，心里也可以好受点吧，哪怕就纯发泄情绪了，也未尝不可。

来北邮三周了，九月就这样溜走了，我也偷偷隐身了好久，很抱歉，UU们，以及谢谢@celeste413姐姐和大家的关心。

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