If we fail to take responsibility, especially in the difficult times, we find ourselves immersed in self-pity, and playing the victim role. Without responsibility we become stuck waiting for someone else to change before we can feel better, which may keep us forever waiting. We can't really change others, we can only change ourselves.
The role of a victim is extremely common as most of us were not raised as empowered beings, but constantly told what to do and how to do it, what was acceptable and what was not, and we were judged and treated according to how well (or poorly) we conformed to what was expected. So we gave our power away to those around us who supposedly knew better than we knew for ourselves, who determined our circumstances, and who led us down the path of life, whether we liked it or not.
In community I gotten to see myself over and over and over again which gave rise to great change for me in taking full responsibility for everything I am a part of, especially in relationships. I also get to see how others either do the same, or fall into the trap of self-pity, drowning in the inability to change their circumstances, blaming and pointing fingers at others to try and keep their head above water so they don't drown in their own personal creation. The cycle of blame is rampant these days, and, though may make one feel better in the moment because there is the belief that it is "someone else's fault", there can be no true change or healing when always at the whim of others to make one's life as they want it to be.
It is my experience that people who deny themselves their own power attempt to get that power from others by lashing out with the "poor me" attitude as bullies do to make them feel better about themselves, and very frequently look for others to join their bandwagon so they can justify their own feelings and blame somebody else. When combining their thoughts together about situations/experiences, they often get tunnel vision, focusing on the deeds they believe were "done to them", and tweek the story to validate why they are feelings so badly. These kind of disempowered people often have similar backgrounds of abuse and childhood trauma that they have yet to reconcile within themselves. Until they stop the blame game and look within, the patterns in their lives of disenchantment will continue, as no matter where one goes, one can't get away from the self!
Here is an amazing article/blog by Gustavo Razzetti I came across that I'd be honored to share. These thoughts and expressions feel spot on to me. It's a well thought out piece and I believe we can all gain some valuable insight from it.
https://liberationist.org/how-to-stop-playing-the-victim-in-your-life/
Here's a piece I wrote last year on this same subject that is as relevant, if not more so than ever.
š Shellie aka @everlove š