From time to time in life...we all come across THAT guy. You know who I’m talking about. When you are at the urinel...draining the main vein. There 12 of these piss buckets and all but one are empty. Yours. Suddenly Fuckface McGillicuddy stumbles up to the stall to the left, whips out what is most likely a truly disappointing dick, and starts his squirt while starting small talk about the weather or some stupid shit. The only conversation I want to hear leaving that clueless bag of shit’s crusty dry ass mouth is him telling me he has terminal cancer. Nothing. Else. At. All.
Don’t be that guy.
Well, that guy is cloned. There are literally millions of Fuckface McGillicuddy’s across the globe and his brethren roam the lands...looking for people to irritate on a minute by minute basis. Take this fucknugget for instance....
Back in July, this dude preordered one of our Exclusive Ninja Turtles Variant covers. This is the book!
Well...the book was released on August 28th and my partner and I proceeded to ship out hundreds of packages all over the globe to eager collectors. This isn’t our first rodeo either. We’ve done several exclusives and have shipped out thousands of comics and packages throughout the years. Literally...thousands.
At this point now it’s safe to say we kinda know what we are doing and how to ship. Regardless, there are always a handful of damages each time we do an exclusive. It’s just how it goes. A package gets crushed in Denver. A postal clerk plays frisbee with one in St. Louis. One gets lost along the way to some dude in Philly. It’s just how it goes and we always take care of folks when they report and show proof of the damaged book.
Enter Mikael...
This is a message we get through PayPal when he alerts us that...well...he was unhappy...
Okay...He an insulting asshole right off the bat...but I’ll bite. My reply 4 1/2 hours after his lovely letter...
I feel I addressed the issue properly and politely. I’d love to tell Mikael to eat a bag of dicks...but I resist this temptation and just politely ask for photos while apologizing for the condition the book arrived in before proceeding.
So I wait...and I wait...it seems days have gone by. Oh...they have. Has Mikael forsaken me?!? Why...oh why sweet Mikael?!? Maybe a little nudge will do. So I send him a reminder.
Once again...I’m chasing this dude to make shit right. I fucking hate that. Well at least he sent me a quick and completely sane response...
Seems completely reasonable. Right?!? When I order something that comes in damaged, I go into a hulk-like rage and incinerate it while cursing at God himself. Then I go and demand a refund while providing zero proof to the shipper that said item was destroyed. Oh, I also blame the shipper for the condition said item arrived in as well. All...completely normal and rational ways to act.
In all honesty, I am still trying to form how I’m going to respond to my angry drunk Russian friend here. At this point now, Mikael can tonguepunch my fartbox. I would have gladly sent him out a replacement or even refunded his money. But I do require proof of the damaged item a customer wants me to replace or refund. Sorry but in this business, there are tons of scumbags out there looking for some free product. Happens fairly often when you deal with this many collectors.
We just had a bad episode involving a $2000 Funko Pop that I’ll tell ya about in a separate write up later this week. It’s common is what I’m trying to say.
If this guy really got his book smashed and crushed, then I’m sorry...but to throw the item out in a rage seemed completely short sighted and I’m betting is not the last dumb mistake this doucher will make this week. But more than likely, the book arrived fine and he just wanted to see if he could get his $20 bucks back while keeping the book. That’s where I’m putting my money. I’m going to guess PayPal will and should side with us on this as there is zero proof provided not an item to send back according to this upstanding citizen.
I’m also going to bet the value of his refund that he will no longer be receiving which is $20, that this angry waste of oxygen beats his wife while downing cheap corner store Vodka by the jug. Just a hunch.
Please...Don’t be like Mikael....