Hey everyone, Kevin the Mountain Goat here.

You might remember me from when @brandt introduced me on #mountaingoatmonday. I’ve kinda been keeping to myself since then so that’s probably why you haven’t seen much of me. I guess I’m really just more of a mountain goat than a socialite goat, lol. btw that thing about me falling off a cliff isn’t true. I also hate vegan restaurants, and vegans too. Although I do very much enjoy eating vegans, because hey, I'm a goat and I'll eat anything, lol. So anyway, @brandt recently told me about the @comedyopenmic Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest and I thought I’d try my hoof at it. To be honest I’m not that funny. I do try to be funny on occasion but my jokes just never land. People tend to not laugh at any of my jokes but they seem fine with laughing at all of my misfortunes. For instance the other day I lost my footing on some loose talus whilst wandering around the side of Missouri Mountain and I fell down about 300 feet. Fortunately it wasn’t a steep enough fall to kill me, it was more of an uncontrolled slide really, but still a good solid 300 feet of rapid and life-threatening descent nonetheless.

Step #1: Locate a Bridge

All of the other mountain goats laughed at me and that kinda killed my pride, you know?

Step #2: Set That Bridge on Fire

So I climbed back up to where I lost my footing, right back up to where all of the other mountain goats were,

Step #3: Repeat Steps 1 and 2

and then I killed every single one of them, because fuck those goddamn mountain goats for laughing at me like that. The end. For the next @comedyopenmic Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest, I nominate @rkphoto who is unresponsive here on Steemit and quite possibly dead, and I also nominate @ned because it rhymes with dead and I think that’s funny.

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