To Live In Moments

There is always a thin obsession with hiding your mind beneath metaphors. For a girl like you to twist what minds are fed with words, poetry possesses your soul like madness. And if you cannot fly to places with your magic alone, create a universe where you can walk barefoot and free.

Once, I was a child of light. I was the bright, blissful, and innocent little girl in our neighborhood with a dream I yearn for so long earlier than everyone my age. I talked to nature and told them I would be a fashion designer someday. I would imagine how the tall chives danced along the afternoon breeze and the lilies reflected the determination in my eyes. As if the greeneries agreed with me. As if at once, it will all come true.

These memories held me in tenderness as a kid with a tiny pinch in my heart as I reminisce now that I am ahead of her. No more a child as I battle with what phrases to convey just to appear grown up and unscathed.

It was on 4th grade when I first learned to write a story. It's not something I forget easily as writing and childhood are what defined my teenage self. Both are tied to my roots like an anklet for remembrance or jewelry of yesterday. Indeed, it is to feel alive from the remnants of what was done and what could have been when I had no idea of the celestials back then. When one kept wandering, it is to look back to the world that keeps them on the right path.

So I did too because I want to live in the idea of existing for a greater purpose. To exist in words of tragedy, passion, love, and sorrow. To be everywhere. Either felt excruciating or be of great love. So when they speak of these words, they tell those minds of my soul. That I am underneath the lines of my poetry—hidden and gray; scarred and bare; alive and sane.

18 years ago, the constellations blessed the skies of a sea-goat fairy. A detail-oriented, ambitious, and organized girl as what the horoscope says but truthfully—careless, lazy, and a sleep-dreamer. There's this thing that I am always grateful for whenever my birthday comes. I don't have to worry about a broken egg yolk on top of my head anymore. Since it's a holiday when souls wonder atop chimneys to grant you a gift or a lifetime curse.

And here is where I exist: in the memories of my childhood, in things I wish to my candles, and in the wilderness of my imagination. I dare to be free in my becoming and never weep in a strange land of rebirth. For I am my differences as it owns my mind beautifully. I will lay my verses naked to whosoever touches my scars and never flinch. My poetries will be an open book and empty pages. I will light a fire to my flesh and crumple my skin like a torn diary—only I am read when I'm hideous and closest to death.

My heart and mind shall collide with solemn as I have made myself walk midair, midline, midlife. Hence, every time I run two more miles, tear ten of my sketches, and write a dozen blank spaces behind my knees—traces of me shall live in my sentences forever. For I tell tales through art like blood conveyed all through my entire system. That when one reaches its heart, all is shattering and in bits like a casualty in disguise as poetry. But I am metaphorically alive, breathing, existing like in paradox of continuously wandering through the ephemeral remains of what must be told.

And here I bend such fate, that my wild child is no more daydreams and nightmares. No more naïve jars of dragonflies or magic at night. All that exists is a feather of a soul with the universe before her mind.

@rks.wuhdrelis

_{A warrior of liberty. With ink stains on her mind and soul. Maayong adlaw! This page contains the information you might want to know about the author. She goes by the name Arques and is under the username @rks.wuhdrelis. She lives in Cebu, Philippines, and is a proud Bisaya. She is a listener of music and is currently drowning in the rhythm of her pop-punk playlist. And she reads too, either depressing or hilarious books. Words from MJ, btw.}

_{Arques is an 18-year-old girl, on a mission to her dream college and a writer wannabe is her reputation. There's a thin line between writing and music that enthralls her mind to scribble every time she has a chance to. To write is to dream and to dream is to be free. Except for nightmares, she believes so. She fancies writing prose poetries that is usually about childhood, life, love, tragedy, something peculiar, or even unnamed emotions. Stay tuned!}

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_{Her muse is Julia Choi from the K-POP girl group, ITZY. Images from this blog are retrieved from @itzy.all.in.us on Instagram.}