[STORY TIME] Relationship as leverage?

There are some people who oftentimes use their relationships as leverage to get what they want or to get things go their way. They threaten their significant other in order to obtain their desired result. This is some kind of abuse in the relationship. They know all too well that their partners love them dearly and will do anything for their happiness. If you do love your partner, never threaten to break up with them if ever you get into a misunderstanding or if he/she wants to do things their way. Remember, they had a life before they met you.

Most of these relationships are traumatic which can end up in self loathe, depression, self harm, and the like.

I myself had been in an abusive relationship years before, although I wasn't physically hurt, it destroyed me. My ex-boyfriend didn't want chubby girls so I starved myself because I get fat easily. I grew my hair long, went to church on Sundays even though I had stopped going for years just because he was a devotee. I tried to please his parents but he never tried to please mine. I stopped hanging out with my friends because he doesn't like them. I hide my opinions to myself because I know he wouldn't be pleased especially if I have a stronger point. In short, I took care of his ego therefore it grew. I couldn't talk to boys at school, I needed to give him my Friendster password so he knows who I'm talking to. I traded phones with him once a week so he'd know who I'm talking to. I never realized I was a prisoner before.

One thing led to another, I tried to please him as much as possible until he decided to break up with me. At first he told me that his parents doesn't like me. I tried to get him back - yes, seriously! I couldn't believe myself either! Lol. After days of crying, self harm (I hated that phase of my life) , and trying to get him back I found out that the real reason why he broke up with me was because he went back together with his ex! So after that I never talked to him, though I was able to talk to some of his friends. I never went out of the house - not even my room. And during that time internet only existed on some areas and our home wasn't included on the list. Okay so, one day I decided I needed to go out of the house. I met with my friends, bought beer and had a little talk. Lucky me, my "ex" went in and saw me. He sat beside me, placed his arm over my shoulder and gave me a smirk. Yes, a f***n smirk! Excuse my language but I still couldn't believe he could let out a smirk after what he did to me lol. So I felt insulted. I clenched the beer can on my right hand as I looked at him. I saw that there was no hint of regret on his eyes and everything blacked out. The next thing I saw is blood dripping from his nose and the can of beer that I was holding on my hand got smashed. He immediately stood up and walked out of the bar. My friends were silent and never mentioned what happened again.

The night after, he sent me a message of Yahoo! Messenger. He told me that he really planned to get back together if only "I didn't do what I did." Right there, I realized that I never needed someone like him in my life. I can be strong and never look back. I can stand up on my own and it is very important to love myself first before trying to love someone else.


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