Blog: babblin' about graphics cards, anxiety, and photography!

It's not often that I'm away from Hive for more than a couple of days, but I think, along with the death of my graphics card, my will to use the computer and be active online just fell monumentally.

Today... I received my brand new 4070ti, and LO! I have returned! xD

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That's not a result of my warranty claim for my dead 3080ti. Gigabyte haven't even acknowledged that yet. I returned it to the store I bought it from, the store noted that there was indeed something wrong with it and informed me they would be returning it to Gigabyte for them to either repair it or replace it and that it could take up to 6 weeks.

After they told me that, I made it a week before I impatiently bought a new graphics card. This time NOT a Gigabyte one. I went all out and bought myself an ASUS ROG Strix, which also happened to be on special. I figure that when I eventually get my repaired/replaced 3080ti back, it can be the new "backup" graphics card instead of this god-awful 1080ti I've been using.

The 1080ti was and is a good card, it is still relevant for non-4K gaming today after all these years. BUT. The specific card we have is loud as hell, whirs at the slightest provocation, vibrates the entire desk, and runs so blisteringly hot. I was afraid to do too much with it lest it, too, exploded. And since my CPU is a KF with no integrated graphics... yeah. I didn't want anything to happen to this 1080ti.

This whole graphics card experience has brought to my attention something amazing though... a couple of months ago, I wrote about my anxiety and a fear of spending money and how it was time to seek professional help... the fear of spending money has disappeared. The medication must be working a little. I still feel generalised and social anxiety but not at the 10 it once was, it's more at a 6 now. Improvements!

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Which is very welcome because the end of financial year is zooming closer and with the turn of the financial year I will be starting my new business venture. Photography. A venture that requires my anxiety to fall to at least a 4.

A few months ago I took a deep breath and contacted fellow Australian and photographer @holoz0r, seeking help on how to begin an at-home studio. As someone who really only photographs the outside world, I was at a complete loss when it comes to creating my own lighting and just what would be required for an indoor studio.

I say "took a deep breath" because of my anxiety. It took me an hour to merely form my inquiry and then I felt like an idiot once I actually sent the message. Thankfully he's very kind and was amazingly easy to speak with after that initial fear and is now officially the first Hivean I've actually spoken with and not just typed to!

We had a two hour conversation about photography. He set up and shared an Amazon wish-list of all the things he would buy if he were starting an indoor studio from scratch, helped me with lighting information and colour theory, and over the past few months everything has been coming together.

All that's left for me to do is set up the room and send out some feelers throughout my local community, seeking people who would be happy to help me with beginning my professional portfolio. And set up my ABN (Australian Business Number) which I don't want to do until the turn of the financial year, for obvious reasons.

I'm not expecting to achieve financial stability through this venture, but honestly, at the moment, even a couple of hundred a week would be a help and stop us dipping into savings constantly just to survive.

There are professional photographers in my region who do fantastic work, and then there are those who very clearly β€” I'm saying this in the nicest way possible β€” point and shoot and hope for the best. There's no bokeh. No pleasant lighting. No quality. The photos look like quick snaps taken with a low-res phone-camera from 2010. And they're charging money for them and actually getting business.

I know I can do better than that.

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Back to my graphics card.

Before my 3080ti died, I had sudden motivation and inspiration to create gaming videos. Perhaps even stream once I get braver and less anxious. I even bought a subscription to StreamLabs. Diablo 4 was going to be my first Let's Play... when it killed my GPU! xD So I've had this subscription sitting by, doing nothing, because I don't want to stress the old 1080ti that I really feel is on its last legs (and I wanted to share Ultra graphics, not Low).

Now that I have my new 4070ti installed I can try this endeavour again.

I think it would be great for helping with my anxiety too. Getting out of comfort zones and such. πŸ™‚ I hope that at least a couple of people will enjoy them. 😊

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Until next time! πŸ“ΈπŸ™‚

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All photos in this post are courtesy of me, @kaelci.

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