Tonight when I put Jude to sleep, I kissed him good night a thousand times and hugged him as I do every other evening. And as children do, I was called back after about five minutes…
“Mommy, please can you come here… I need to tell you something”
When I entered his room and approached his bed, he said “come here”, as he held his arms out wide open. I embraced his beautifully large and welcoming demonstration of love… and as we lay there hugging each other I asked him what he had wanted to tell me…
“I don’t want to be a grown up mommy” he declared, as he started to sob.
Well, DAMN!
Now, I will take my hat off to my son at the best of times for his insanely eye opening maturity and mind blowing “connectedness” to things on a higher level – but shit! – This was a disturbing statement to hear from my eight year old child… especially at bed time which is when he always “contemplates the larger things in life”.
Why does this disturb me?
Because he is right!
Being a grown up absolutely SUCKS for the most part!
Yes, yes, yes… we have the freedom to make our own decisions ****cough* (or do we?)*** but other than that… what do we have?
I will tell you what we have… we have bloody stress! Unless you are born into a chain of plastic resembling the kardashians, then from the time you wake up until the time you close your completely depleted eyes at the end of the day – you are exhausting every creative and persistent inch of yourself to try and simply make ends-meat so that you can afford your family and children the best you can give them… you know – what they deserve!
Earlier this evening, Jude had watched his regular “Sunday night movie” and we had selected “Hugo” which seemed a pretty harmless old school story – but possibly a little too harsh for his soft soul. I had not thought anything of it at the time as the “cover depiction” seemed like a fun looking adventure and it was in the “family” category – but half way through he said he did not want to watch it anymore. I honestly felt like the WORST mother ever! Hey, I am human too… but I can be thankful for the amazing sensibility that my child has (if not me… hehe)
Obviously, I reassured my little boy that being a grown up can be a lot of fun but also that he needn’t worry his beautiful little head about such boring things - and that he has a very, very, VERY long time to go before he will be an adult.
The beautiful child that he is, he took that advice – kissed and hugged me once more and then went off to dream land, no doubt contemplating the slightly more optimistic road ahead, knowing that he has childhood in his grasp for some time longer…
But I, mom, walked step by step back down to the lounge feeling a little less optimistic…
I hate the fact that my little boy worries about such things and I also hate the fact that for the most part, he is bloody right! ”Adulting” can honestly suck! Lol
I hate lying – so I will never lie to my child, but I am also a parent and I do not want to taint his little outlook – although, to be honest… I think he is a little too wise for any ”wool over eyes” scenario.
I am what I would like to consider a relatively positive individual – and this is only because I have conquered a MONUMENTAL amount of negativity and challenge, but it does sadden me to think that children are starting to look up at adulthood with dread – and for good reason.
This world has become so ridiculously taxing on our minds, bodies, hearts and souls that we are all like zombified herded sheep. Thinking we have choice, when for the most part, we don’t – we are just bloody hypnotised and conditioned!
BUT –
And yes, it is a super-sized one, because although I can absorb and digest the emotions of “not so positive” situations and/circumstance - I am definitely more of a “silver linings” kinda girl…
I am ETERNALLY grateful that I have such a wise little boy. At the age of 8, he is seeing this world for what it is, and this means that he will be far more inclined to step outside of that “sheep pen” as he grows older… (Although to be honest – I don’t think he ever got into it)
If I look at my family as a whole, each and every one of us are free thinkers… (thank goodness!) (Hence I am here on Steemit... lol )
I can only hope that my “life adventures and endeavours” will re-assure, inspire and excite my little boy as the years move on…
When you are not a slave to the system, there is MUCH to be happy about…
And come hell or high water, I will make sure that I achieve that freedom for both myself and even more so for my son, when I am no longer around… and perhaps I shall also read the movie reviews a little more thoroughly in future… lol!!
Mommy continues to learn too ;)
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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