It's not so much about how you start but how you finish. - Unknown
There are times in life when times and seasons change. There's always so much we can do, not to stop these things from happening, but to be better prepared for them. Many times, while we struggle to keep up with life, we move from phase to phase and these changes go unnoticed.
When I first discovered Steemit, I had no idea the impact it was going to have on me. I certainly didn't expect anything out of the ordinary. It was to be another platform for me to share my poetry and ramblings from time to time. Maybe if I had opened my eyes more, I'd have been better prepared.
Instead of being another platform, Steemit became the platform for me. Two things had me screaming out "I'm sold!"; the prospect of earnings, and then the community. Nine times out of ten, I'd pick Steemit over any free alternative because I love money.
Publishing on Steemit didn't bring the results I had expected (not like I had any expectations like that though). I was a budding poet and was downcast to have to accept the sad reality that Steemit didn't want to read my poetry.
As a creative being, I sort out other ways I could be useful to the community. Yay, long form writing! So I picked that up and with almost nothing meaningful to say, I began to write.
Right now it feels like all I did and have done has been to find what works here. This in itself isn't a bad tactic. I was hooked on this new drug called steemit. I could barely do anything else and like an hungry lion, I kept devouring every part of Steemit I could find.
I was addicted.
Today (the day I began writing this), I realized I had gone almost the entire day without bothering to check in on Steemit or get myself worked up because I'm yet to drop a post for the day compared to a few weeks ago.
This is day 3 since I began writing this post.
Come for the money, stay for the community. - Steemit
This has been our mantra as Steemians for a long time but it looks like I took the opposite route. I always claimed I didn't come here for the money (which is totally true) but in as much as I didn't come for the money, I definitely drifted well into that lane, maybe unconsciously.
It's said that you don't know what you have till you lose it, so I guess you also don't know what you're missing till you taste it.
I thought the money was secondary till I had a taste of big payouts. It became a goal; how could I make that on a consistent basis? I basically took my eyes off the path that brought the payout and focused on the payout itself. I became so overwhelmed with replicating my success.
Then the inevitable began to happen; the ones that always voted on my posts started to withdraw slowly. As usual, I didn't catch this early until it was late, and even when I noticed, I was too far gone on the wrong path to be able to retrace my steps and pinpoint where exactly I had gone wrong.
So the bouts of burnout began. I felt it was a case of me just needing to refuel but it was a lot more. The refuel probably brought back my senses and fueled me back to the basics.
A month ago, I felt setting aside 20 SBD daily towards my @steemfest dreams wouldn't be much of a big deal, because I could achieve that with about two posts a day and still have enough for other stuff. It became my goal and I'll wake every day with thoughts on how to just put out posts to meet my target.
I'm not sure I put out total shit posts but they surely had some degree of shit.
Changed Perspectives
Instead of chasing after the 20 SBD daily savings, I'd rather just take out of my SP (which I have began to power down for this purpose). I feel there's a form of calm that comes with me knowing that I've got SteemFest covered and this calm ultimately aids more creativity and a somewhat clearer mind.
I've always wanted to be at SteemFest since the day I heard of it, so if it's going to cost me half of my SP, I'm fine with it. After all, SP is just Steem that's been saved up for me. 😔
The doors and windows of my poetry villa have been dusted, washed, and open. No more suppression for the popular. It's funny how I've always talked about being yourself but I wasn't fully myself.
I came not for the money but gravitated towards the money. - Fi
Now that my head is clear, I guess I can get back to the basics and allow my creativity breathe again.
Thank you to all my followers and my sincere apologies to as many as I might have disappointed along the way. I'm currently crawling my way back and with time I believe I'd start running again (without forgetting the basics).