Personal Filler Post #2
Hey everyone. The last two weeks were pretty hectic and I haven't had the chance to sit down and make a post because my mind was still rumbling with thoughts and negative emotions. Trying to think of something useful to write is very difficult for me when I'm not feeling healthy upstairs. Its easier for me to think of these posts as revisions after a significant life event. As interesting as my daily tea and gossip about what's valuable to me would sound, I think this blog is better than that and deserves to be held up to a higher standard. A rant is okay every now and then but in all honesty I try to stay away from those. Emotion-full thoughts without the intention to take action belong in my personal paper journal. Not here.
Okie dokie so we're midway through the first month of this year and I'm
Currently
Reading: 99 Days by Katie Contugno (Page 174/372)
Watching: loltyler1
Playing: Final Fantasy XIV
Listening: Why by Sabrina Carpenter
I'm still experimenting with my blog formatting in an attempt to make it uniquely my own so I'll try to implement this into every post. Its just a little taste of what I'm into at the moment and I thought I should share it with you guys.
The last two weeks have actually been a sort of job limbo for me because my temporary job employment with JCPenney was coming to an end. I wasn't sure if they were going to keep me or not so I was feeling extremely nervous about that. I thought I wasn't good at my job, that I didn't deserve to work there and it got so bad to a point where I was 100% certain they weren't going to keep me. I didn't want to post until I knew I had something positive to report since my last post was already ranty. Good news though, looks like they were paying attention and they decided to keep me. I am proud to say I now have a permanent job.
This week I've been bombarded with a ton of great news and I wasn't expecting any of them at all. The first was a letter from my college telling me I am able to register for college this spring after being academically dismissed and I cannot express the level of gratitude I feel in my heart for being blessed with the opportunity at school again. Worst case scenario I'd have to wait until Fall to re-register. And I was prepared to take that route, I even lined my new years resolution with those plans but this news has brought so much light into my aspirations. Instead of spending this semester loafing around with my job being my main focus I get to go back to college and I'm absolutely delighted. I know I have the correct tools, mindset and goals to do well this time and I can't wait to start. My best friend is also going back to college and I'll happily be able to accompany him and we'll take over the world and get on each others ass about procrastinating.
The second wasn't exactly news per say but I've been brewing over the concept of getting my first credit card and luckily me I've been approved for my first choice. It should be here by the time I start school and It's exactly what I need to manage my bills and responsibly pay for things in case I don't have the money at the time. This is my 4th part time job guys and in the past I've had problems keeping a job and saving money. This time around I've made a couple goals to save more money this year. I'm an adult and I need to be able to have some money to fall back on when things go south. Limiting the amount of money you spend monthly and setting a budget for yourself is the easiest way to save money. Cooking and prepackaging meals for work and school is something I'll also need to do if I want to save. I mainly don't do it because I get really embarrassed when I eat in public and bringing food from home doesn't help this anxiety. I feel like if I start off with small snacks like protein, bars/meal shakes or plastic bag snacks I'll be okay. Then I can wiggle my way into bringing a full blown meal to work and campus without feeling embarrassed or judged.
Sometimes I hate the way my brain works. It can be difficult to work around my worries but that doesn't mean I should give into my anxiety. The thing is. . . It'll never go away and If I don't combat it now its going to grow worse and worse as I get older.
That's basically what you guys missed in the last two+ weeks. The next time you'll hear from me I'll probably be buying my college text books and waiting for my financial aid to drop in. I want to focus on a specific topic though for next week. Preferably about College. How it feels to be back, getting back into the swing of balancing work and school and how I manage to do both without getting too stressed.