So I was pretty excited to keep some momentum going with my writing here on the Steem Blockchain - and as much as sickness isn't an excuse to make no content at all, I haven't the last few days.
But here we are! This is my first time writing anything at all since my last post.
To everyone who upvoted, commented and resteemed, I really thank you. It was a piece I had a bit a lot of fun with over the course of about 3 or 4 days, and I took it a little serious since it was a theme set by @sndbox-alpha - I definitely said "What the fuck" out loud when I woke up to see the post had over 400 upvotes (I also recorded a video of this happening).
If you're looking for quality content I highly recommend checking out Curie's recent curations.
The amount of interaction from you all really does help me determine what you find valuable not only in content, but in style - so thank you thank you.
Moving on, my throbbing head and throat (tonsillitis) have locked me mostly to my bed - only going to the fridge for some strawberries, a takeaway burrito and some coconut icecream.
As good as living alone can be, there's a certain point where it becomes laughably difficult. It's those times you just need some affection and some care; not to take away from friends and family, but it's different when care comes to you without calling for it (This is actually not true, it's only because I am uncomfortable with asking for support from my peers).
So, in my aloneliness, I resort to my most comforting hobbies. Most westerners have them, a girl I dated used to watch snake videos because it calmed her, others listen to radio stations.
What are the feel-good pleasures that you go to when you're sick, or low?
For me, mine are now difficult to indulge in - past addictions within my 'home' life scare me. But despite this fear, I've come to learn that balance is tricky; and self-stress is rarely beneficial, though at the same time, can help move us forward. It's a contradiction to which you just have to surrender to and trust.
Anyway; my comforting places to ease me through my body's recovery usually video game or anime based.
However, yesterday I did spend about 4 hours watching Sadhguru, a Vedic guru; which has been pretty awesome (while eating ice-cream from the tub - I know sugar isn't good for tonsillitis but hey, my mouth garlic gets old, and I'm indulging, alright?).
I love these gurus, guys like Sadhguru, Ram Dass. They really amaze me. Not just the knowledge they share on the mind & consciousness through Vedic definitions, but the way they create humour out of they're experience and these complex spiritual topics. This loosening up is a really important attitude I need to take up more.
Aside from that, I've been on Steem a tiny bit the last few days, but it's weird; I felt kind of pushed away from it. I think it's due to the standard I've set myself for being on here (and not feeling confident in being that), which isn't the way to do things, and I need to not let myself be influenced by that.
Ah, I guess it's not too bad, as you can see, I'm full of contradictions today, anyway.
Photo by Kevin Bluer on Unsplash
On the note of confidence & self-worth, I've got a story
In my most recent blog-style post, I mentioned I would be going out to have some fun with my Couchsurfer. When I got home that night after work, she was really tired; so the night of dancing turned into spending $20 on getting slightly tipsy at a bar. Or instead, I could cook us dinner, serve some wine and put some oils in the diffuser and we could chat away; and that's what we did.
So I didn't have my night of dancing; and this lack of fun was getting to me in ways I couldn't really recognise. The affect of not having fun had turned me into quite a serious person, so it was time to loosen up.
On the Sunday just gone, I entered a club at 10:30pm and left another one at about 9:30am, I was home by about mid-day. - there was a lot of dancing, chatting, smoking and other stuff.
I went alone, which is always a test, but a test I enjoy. The challenge of channeling confidence is always there. People sometimes mistake me for always being charismatic, energetic and extremely good at meeting people; but the fact is, this is a strenuous effort.
Charisma and confidence is something that is trained by a lot of people. I've written about this, and you see more about this in social media now - That top artists and top performers are just extremely dedicated to their cause and that effort is what breeds the beauty.
That people just like you and me created the world around us, they're no different - they're just consistently creating.
The confidence (for me) is merely a social flow that comes after perceiving there is nothing to lose - This idea of confidence and other abilities being learned is something I want to experiment with in future posts.
Anyway, the test I speak of is similar to what I mentioned about feeling pushed away from Steemit the last few days, I believe it relates to self-worth and confidence in being the self that one wants to be - really though, it's just the ego doing what it can to do what it believes will keep you safe, right?
My experience of the night out is something I wanted to share. After it, I felt so lucky to meet the people that I did, which I didn't get any contact details of (this makes me sad). There are so many complexities to what happened and I just can't believe how magically the universe/cosmos/god works sometimes; I'm also wary of observing these phenomena and spoiling myself of similar future experiences (quantum physics, anyone?).
However, this post is getting close to 1000 words, so i'll wrap it up here.
What do you do to have fun?
Have you found balance between fun and progression?
Should we ignore the hunt for balance and let it happen naturally?
Hey, thanks for reading, I appreciate you. If you appreciated this, reach out with a comment, upvote or resteem!
See you around.