Coming soon to a pharmacy near you - Ozempic for children

Childhood obesity rates are soaring in most Western countries and, up to now, fast food and a sedentary lifestyle were considered the main culprits. Not to mention hormones in processed and unprocessed foods or additives, some of them highly addicting. How naive of us! A brand new study informs us that the real cause of obesity among children is a genetic mutation. Do keep in mind that such genetic mutations tend to affect only children in Western countries, not the starving multitudes in many African countries or in Gaza for that matter.

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Simply put, kids are fat because there’s a problem in the hypothalamic region of their brain. The good news is that, according to the study, this discovery will allow scientists to develop new therapies for childhood obesity. No need to keep your fingers crossed. Big Pharma already has the answer - weight loss drugs such as Ozempic and Wegovy are already prescribed to over 12 years old. It’s just a matter of time until these miracle drugs will be dished out to first-graders or chubby toddlers.

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Over the past few years most new studies come with a hidden agenda. Now that we know there’s nothing wrong with poor Timmy stuffing himself silly on crisps and nuggets, we can allow the poor child to spend all day on the sofa playing video games. Just give him a shot of this semaglutide every week and he’ll lose all the extra weight. After all, it was thanks to science that we learned that crippling depression or anxiety are caused by a so-called chemical imbalance in the brain. You don’t need years of therapy and working through your complexes when one or more happy pills will make you the picture of optimism.

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I’ve been keeping an eye on Ozempic stories as I believe this is a scandal waiting to erupt. Maybe next year, maybe five years from now, but at some point people will realize they’ve been sold a very dangerous brand of snake oil. What I enjoy most are the stories on the “unexpected” benefits of these semaglutide products. They can cure not only diabetes, but also such problems as alcoholism or gambling addiction. Don’t ask how. There are, also, stories on side effects, but these get far less attention, at least for now.

One problem not really addressed is that while these drugs reduce appetite, they do nothing to solve the complex psychological issues behind compulsive eating. As this article points out, overeating is often a symptom of a deeply-rooted problem, like a parental complex or low self-esteem, or both. I have a friend who struggled with obesity for most of her adult life. She freely admits that she’d polish off a whole box of chocolate or an ice cream tub because she’s unhappy, bored or angry. Overeating is a coping mechanism for such people and without the comfort of food they might engage in other compulsive behaviors, such as drinking or shopping. Their fundamental problems are still there, no matter how many pounds they manage to shift.

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On the other hand, if you’re unhappy there’s always some happy pill for you. That’s quite a bargain for Big Pharma. Take this poor schmuck with a food addiction and get him on some expensive weight loss product, which, as you know, you must take all your life if you don’t want to see those pounds piling back. If losing weight didn’t solve your deeper issues, Big Pharma can also put you on some psychotropic medication. Also long term. Should you experience side-effects such as kidney problems, pancreatitis, erectile dysfunction or cancer, Big Pharma has just what you need. (Side-note: while googling Ozempic side effects, the first page that comes up mentions somewhere between more benign problems such as nausea and constipation, neoplasm. I guess writing cancer was deemed somewhat of a turn-off.)

I believe it’s worth mentioning that these side effects refer primarily to adults. What’s going to happen when you put a 5-year old on semaglutide is anybody’s guess, but I have a feeling it’s not going to be pretty.

Just to be clear - I’m not trying to say that overweight people should be left to their own devices since food makes them happy. I believe they need a good therapist to understand why they’re doing that to themselves and to help them find the willpower to take back their lives by laying off comfort food.

Thanks for reading!

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