Hi Chris, your writing is pretty incredible. You pulled me in to your reality immediately. There is an interesting blending of fact and fiction here, although as I dig around a little online trying to find out more about you I realize it may be mostly fact and little fiction? In any case - absolutely heady writing. Free time is my most precious commodity as a stay at home dad of two sons under the age of 3, but I found time in multiple sittings this afternoon to read all 11,000+ words of part one here. I am looking forward to part two tomorrow!
A few words of advice, if I may, and feel free to disregard as befits a complete stranger on the internet offering unsolicited advice! First, I do not presume to know your purpose in posting your writing here on Steemit... but if you do desire to have more eyes see it, you should use at least one or two tags from the main trending tag page. "Story" and "Writing" are the top two tags most relevant to your work, but have a look at the list of tags to the right on the Steemit home page. Of course you may just be using the blockchain to lay eternal and immutable copyright to your work and could care less about how many eyes see it :)
Secondly - while I did read this in its entirety - assuming you do want people to read your writing, I would break it up into smaller chunks. Serialize it. It is the rare person on Steemit who is going to make the time investment to read 11,000 words, or to come back to a post multiple times to read it in installments.
Please take my advice in the friendliest of possible spirits - I offer it only because I am truly impressed with what I have read and I would love to see you succeed on here. Cheers - Carl
RE: Part One. Kissed Awake by A Serial Killer.