Many of the behaviors you like or dislike in your child directly reflect what you value. For example, there's really nothing wrong with your children eating with their fingers, if their fingers are clean. Whether children should use fingers or fork is dictated by values. Other areas of behavior that reflect values might include the following:
- Religious behavior, such as saying the blessing before eating.
- Social behavior, such as standing when you are introduced to a person who is standing, or not interrupting adults who are talking.
- Recreational activities. Going to a movies or listening to rock music may be right or wrong, depending upon your values.
- Health behavior such as going to sleep at a regular time, avoiding junk foods, and not eating between meals may reflect individual values.
- Acceptable appearance has to do with values. Some parents insist that their children wear suits and ties to church. Others disapprove of new hairstyles or false eyelashes.
- Behavior and attitudes about school may also reflect values. It's not morally wrong to get C's or D's in school, nor will low grades always hurt a child, but the way some parents react, you think it was the end of the world!
You cannot dictate what your children will ultimately hold. But if you want them to respect your values, be sure they are reasonable, that you establish them early, and that you consistently maintain them through instruction and example.
To teach by example, you must consistently live by your values. You cannot have one set of values that you try to impose on your children while you live by another.
Children follow good examples as well as bad. So take heart, parents. Continue being the kind of example you know Christ would want you to be. And don't be surprised when your values rub off on your children.
