So much to respond to here, forgive the maybe sporadic structure.
I do wonder about who your audience is - and what role I might play in facilitating you finding them.
This post makes me think about so much. I appreciate all of your words for me just as much as you showing yourself - I'm glad that, at the least, Steem is a place for your to write whatever the hell you want, I like this a lot.
Steem being made for writers and investors, how true. Steem has never placed emphasis on readers, just creators - which is obviously great, but you're right, what is there for a reader here? This would encourage people to create, which I do like - but it's almost as if reading and curation should become it's own product focus for Steem - such that Steem becomes just as good a place for writers as it is for their audience - I wonder your husbands perspective on this given his webmaster-ness. It is difficult for platforms to cater to all their audiences, Medium (medium.com) do an impressive job at both, but ultimately the focus is on creators creating unique content and presenting it beautifully to readers - they've done an excellent job.
Anyway, I do hope you find your desired audience, until you do, you'll continue to be an incredible source of guidance and knowledge about the world in and around me - you've given me an amazing amount so far, and I don't have the words or phrases to express this succinctly.
Okay, the stuff about me. My oh my oh my. At this point I had already taken a break to smile and take in the fact you'd responded, and that you'd really responded with you.
"Waiting for the other shoe to fall off" - I appreciate your rhetoric throughout this. I definitely feel this, but it's not one I completely understand yet. I've made some relatively drastic decisions in my life so far, and I find myself not rocketshipping off to the place these decisions are purposed to take me (patience, hey?) - and I think I've been told this more-so than I understand this on my own, it's a particularly confusing one that I just can't entirely see yet, I feel it's tied to one of the deeper parts of my ego - I hope I'm not misinterpreting, I don't think I am, or can.
"I'm extremely public facing" - I'm incredibly pulled towards representing something to the public authentically, being that communicative intermediary for things, such that the two line up in healthy, genuine ways ( where's that audience of yours? and how do we get 'em ;) )
Scorpio energy is one I don't have a firm grasp on yet, though I've been surrounded by many Scorpio suns lately - and my understanding of the concept "death and rebirth" is growing - I was quite surprised with the amount of Scorpio in my chart - though reading about my Scorpio Mercury has helped me come to terms with my sometimes/often intense communication & personality (hope I've interpreted that right).
Yes, professional direction is, of course, one I'm still unsure about, and people at work are asking me directly lately - I'm useful, but they're all wondering, "what exactly do you want to do?" and I don't know, I just know I'm good at being real, and I like being real.
All of your writing is incredibly refreshing - I'll try not anticipate how things will come together, and instead focus on living and creating something out of my experience - however, it is really nice to have my public facing-ness confirmed, and that I'll be journeying into who I am to become and what I will be when I grow up. This is no doubt the theme for many, and I feel like the game of how to present myself to the world is only just beginning, and your words inspire me to have as much fun with it as I like. I'd like to leave a trail of this process behind, I believe almost everyone is dealing with something this in some form.
This dance between what I understand and what I present - it has driven me (and many others I'm sure) nuts and will continue to by the sounds, thank you for shedding your light on all this - I appreciate it.
I'll be back to read this more than once in the future - it is incredibly humbling and I'm so so so so so thankful that I've spent the last few hours eating lunch, processing all of this and responding to you - I've much enjoyed this.
I'm fearful (particularly with mercury retrograde beginning) of any misinterpretations I've made here. In no way do I expect you to respond to this to go further expand my understanding, but if you would, I am all ear-eyes.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
RE: When the Sun Moves Through Scorpio -- It means something to everyone