Last minute I decided to enter in holoz0r Art contest as a tribute to @Lauralemons
The Theme was darkness.
The first thing that came to mind when I thought of this theme. Is my personal struggle with being suicidal back in the day. And how the last time I tried to kill myself, (obviously failing) Scared me so much, That I didn't want to do it ever again.
When the blindness set in, from the massive overdose of allergy medicine I took. The feeling was horrible. And I realized that as I was occasionally going in and out of consciousness. That there was a chance that I may never wake up. That this was something self-inflicted. And I wanted to take it back so much. For a split moment, the whole thing seemed like a great idea. I thought for sure that taking every pill from the massive bottle would be a for-sure done deal that I would die.
I didn't cut myself that day as a way to die. That's why the cuts are horizontal. But it was my constant addiction. The one thing I went to when I was dealing with anger, Stress, Or an unbearable sadness.
Cutting myself somehow made me feel better.
I felt stronger.
I was afraid to post this
Here you guys see my blogs, I'm usually upbeat and positive. I rarely talk about some of the darkest moments of my life. But oddly my art style is very dark. I love to rip those dark feelings from my body and put them on canvas for all to see.
This dark place is where I came from, to become the person I am today.
The Themes Behind the Painting
I will go into vivid detail on what each element of my painting represents. Because everything is placed there for a reason.
Here are some beginning stages of the painting.
This was done with Acrylic Paint on Canvas board
Outline
Adding Black to The background
Adding Detail To The face
Working The eyes
Fixing the Lips
Adding The Pills
