Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
All rights reserved.
(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE GANGSTER
(circa 1925)
Prohibition was in force at about this time,
A folly that was stupendously sublime.
An invitation to criminals to make huge money,
By flouting this law. It’s ridiculously funny.
Yes, around the mid twenties it happened to be,
When Speak-Easies served grog in a cup meant for tea.
The wealthy and fashionable of the day,
Would flaunt their fine clothing both bright and gay.
Whilst entertainments they would attend,
And drink hooch until they were “around the bend”.
Whilst the appetite for booze did live on,
The ability to drink openly had now gone,
Underground, so to speak,
and the Feds would seek
Speak-Easies in every dark, dingy alley,
The Feds., in night raids, forth did sally.
And all this time, waiting in the wings,
Were gangsters doing many criminal things.
They had secret distilleries to distil,
A variety of concoctions designed to thrill.
They also had breweries readily brewing,
Beers and ales that the thirsty love pursuing.
And the gangsters raked in loads of money.
It’s strange a new law could be so stupidly funny.
Of course, such activity of greed,
Meant that there was competition to heed.
Rival gangs did readily shoot to kill,
Using Tommy Guns that required some skill.
As they drilled many holes in bodies and car,
While the Head Gangster puffed on a cigar,
Along with all this there were police and F.B.I.
All waiting and willing to help people die.
They had weaponry similar to the gangsters,
Oh, what indolent, quite stupid pranksters.
Much of the police force was on “the take”,
Getting kickbacks for action quite fake.
Tip offs to Speak-Easy about pending raid,
Earned good money easily made.
The gangsters in this period of time,
Made millions of dollars without “reason or rhyme”.
They sold illicit whisky and gin,
At such a rate it made one’s head spin.
One gangster, by the name of Big AL,
Joined together with a favourite pal.
They decided to create a new market niche,
And so into marketing they did pitch.
The thought was to introduce a drink called Kava
A drink that Polynesians would certainly rather,
Have, than a belt of hooch any day.
Big AL thought it would really pay.
But their market research was not so good,
And it should be most clearly understood,
That there weren’t many Polynesians in the U.S.A.,
During the prohibition period that was underway.
So Big AL and his buddy fared not well,
And the Kava they’d made began to smell.
Regular hooch went right out the door,
But always there was room for more.
Until the silly government did repeal,
The stupid law that they’d made to deal,
With inebriation, both far and wide.
And by doing so, one needs to chide,
Had unleashed a crime wave, murder and greed.
An interesting lesson for authority to heed.
To the Law Makers, “Don’t make laws that are dumb”,
Or, out of office you’ll be voted, like silly scum!
