Sometimes I feel like I couldn't take it anymore. The 'thing' inside my brain keep eating me slowly. There will be a moment where I'm so happy, peaceful and great but a few moments later, I felt depressed, lonely, sad, angry, and afraid without any reason!
My mood can be swinging in just a few seconds. There will be a time where I want to be loved, to be surrounded by people that can cheer me up, singing and laughing together, and being accompanied. But there's a moment when I felt like I'm better living alone by myself without anyone else interrupting me. I found a peace in that way. But when I sat alone, I felt very lonely, feels like nobody would ever care about me, like I'm nothing.
I'm confused with my own feelings. This doodle can describe it well:
It just a simple doodle. Honestly, I'm not really good at doodling. I don't like to put my attention to the details. But I tried to make one.
Half of myself are happiness and half of them, full of terrible things. And yeah, I have to sit still. Couldn't do anything about that.