For a long time in my life I had no real understanding of anxiety.
I had even less of an understanding of how it affected me so intensely until recently.
Constantly moving, unable to chill, always needing a distraction, checking a phone incessantly and never ever gently relaxing into a moment of anxiety.
That's my life in a nutshell.
It hasn't always been like this exactly, but it's gotten worse as I look for a new career.
For many years I have been in tourism and I've loved it. It does have a lot of downsides, like average pay and a lack of stability, but I've been outside a lot and met a lot of very interesting people.
Now as I shift back to something else and friends get older, buy houses, have kids, etc I feel as if I've perhaps left an opportunity behind.
The truth is I have. I remember, however, after university not knowing where to go or to put my energy. I felt lost, isolated, alone and completely cut off from the world.
Right now my feeling is somewhat similar, except that I have some great friends, have a bunch of interests I want to pursue and have career experience.
When I was 22 I had no experience, no hope and no idea. Now I have all of them and we shall see what the world brings.