And there he came, suddenly, back on the doorstep, limping with his hind leg, he was tired, hurt, frostbitten, and completely. . . SATISFIED!!!
Aww YEAHHH!!! Who's the badass tomcat? Say my name!
His name...was Roger, he is currently my oldest cat, and like every household feline he's been through some adventures, one of which resulted in the conception of my youngest cat, Jean, the sole survivor from the relationship of Roger and a stray cat from the neighborhood, who seemed to be Roger's mate for a while, until, like the Casanova he is, he promptly abandoned her after less than a year...
Pictured: The confused look coming from a cat with a father like Roger.
Yet, despite going through that emotional roller coaster, Roger ventured on, to new love conquest, fueled by his inner tiger, he would often go on 3-4 days long trips to the neighboring houses.
But I wouldn't be writing this post for merely that, except that one time, he decided to let it all go (that time was during the last Christmas, to be precise) and simply disappeared for a whooping 10 days that, needless to say, weren't exactly filled with the Holiday Spirit for those who were so worried about him.
"Oh stop being so dramatic, you knew I would be back! I'm always back! Beside, you know how they meow: you only live once!
"Actually, in your case it's 9 times..."
"You're hilarious, really, don't you know, I already used up 8 of my lives, fool! #curiositykilledthecat !"
Anyway, the thing is, that after he finally came back he was looking like I wrote in the beginning of this post, which basically was a subtle (not really) hint that he may just have stumbled upon a pretty cat that was already taken this time, and boy, let me tell you, there are some pretty nasty-looking tomcats in my area, I'm talking muscle here, not like Roger who has body mass that would make Garfield look like a bodybuilder, added to the fact that he has the reflexes of a lobotomized turtle...
"S-shut up! I'm not fat, I just got really thick fur! What's that? I'm not hiding my body behind the tree, I just wanna strike a pose! (I'll remember that Garfield comparison, and the turtle one, just you wait, there's always a dead mouse I can leave on your doorstep as a "present")".
So, after being reduced to how Tom looks at the end of a Tom & Jerry episode, it took him a while, but, in the end, he got back on his feet.
The only problem is that although I thought he had learned his lesson from the last time, that kitty must have some pretty amazing fur (if you know what I mean), 'cos I didn't notice that there was still a fire in his eyes...his dumb, green, occasionally swollen eyes...and that fire would cause him to just keep his schedule of going missing once in a while for... exploration purposes...
"I have no regrets!"
Now, this may be the end of this post, but, considering his habits of never learning anything, you could very well expect a sequel ( Fifty shades of fur - The meowening), if so, I'll hope you enjoy it, and I'm sure his wife won't!
"All these meowing tomcats are all the same! What a purring bastard!"
"You don't understand, it's over, you were nice, but me and her - we have something special! (The way she gutted that pigeon was just magical...)"
So, that was is for this post, and just in case you like some more catty goodness, I posted a (more serious) article about a nice kitty named Kitsch that I once had: https://steemit.com/life/@theodor/kitsch
Also, thanks for all the support, the votes I received these last few days blew my mind!
'Til we meow again. (My God, I exaggerated with the cat puns, didn't I?)