Excerpt: the rational approach to life teaches us to focus hard on things we want, make specific plans how to achieve them, and take all necessary steps towards the goals. However, in most cases applying force is against the natural flow of life and the long-term results are actually counter-productive. If our life is not effortless, does not flow with ease from one expression to the next, then we better examine our approach. We better reorient our minds, from the rational to the magical.
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I have had a boyfriend for three years and we have lots of fun. I love him, I feel good with him and so does he with me (I think). But there is one problem – I want to get married, and although he sort of knows it he doesn’t propose. My parents put pressure on me, I am stressed and nervous but nothing happens. What can I do?
Rachel
Rachel,
Try a different approach.
Totally forget about the whole thing. Don’t give up your wish to get married but release the mental pressure around it. Ask your parents to cooperate and when your boyfriend asks about marriage tell him: “ I do want to get married and I feel ready. I also know that timing is important so when you are ready too it will happen”.
This way you allow the natural force of life to flow to its best place. Act with ease, remain calm; as much as possible don’t think about it, don’t set an ultimatum to yourself, don’t trouble your partner with it; live from one moment to the next.
What will happen? One of two things – either he will propose in a natural and beautiful way or a situation will present itself when you would feel it was appropriate to propose and receive his affirmative consent. The more you pressure the guy (even if only telepathically) the more the guy is cornered and blocks himself.
The question continues:
…But I am 27 years old and he is 29. I feel that everything is slipping through my fingers. He is an adventurous guy and wants to do as he pleases. He tells me that he chooses me each day anew, which is a true and beautiful thing to say but also annoying. His behavior makes me feel that I will never be able to know if he is mine or not. On the one hand, it is a challenge for me and makes our relationship interesting and invigorating, on the other hand, I don’t feel secure in such a relationship although I am certain he would never cheat on me or anything like that.
It seems to me that you need to first release your need to control life. As I said, trust that life works for you in the best ways, release your grip and live in the now.
Secondly, you need to work on finding security within yourself. You are describing a wonderful partner who is loyal and reliable, but who you still don’t feel safe with. Why not? Why can’t you fully trust him and yourself? What are you afraid of and why? Maybe your biggest nightmare is to be alone in this life, and if so, work on the issue: understand that you are never alone and work on finding the friendly source within you that is your bigger self who is always next to you.
