Excerpt: this is a situation when I do not need to say much. The dreamer is aware and does the self-reflection work that is so required. Similarly to a previous dream, the feeding entities sometimes become violent and use the sexual scenes to feed off of us. It is traumatic to the dreaming personality and surely has its effects on the daily waking reality. An action, by the dreamer, is therefore a necessity.
Credit: Rajib Koraia
The Dream
I am homosexual. In the dream, my husband and I are in a rented room in a hotel. The room is large and painted with dark red color. We suspect there is a burglar in the room and indeed a cousin of mine (who is also a very good friend) comes to verify this. My spouse and this cousin flee from the room and walk down the stairs to the lobby only to find that the hotel is surrounded by sex offenders.
In the next scene we see a group of people (mostly women) being raped by the criminals. I, my partner, and another friend are being raped by one of the criminals. In the corner of my eye, I catch my cousin and another friend being raped by a second criminal (who is forcing oral sex on them). I am horrified by what I see and draw my spouse's attention to the happenings. Alas, we are helpless.
In the next scene I find out that all the victims are dead, including my friends. I am still being forced into sexual activity, penetration, imposed by one of the criminals. During this sexual coercion, the perpetrator dips my head in a puddle of water, trying to drown me. In my reflection, I see that my hair is cut off (in reality, my hair is long).
In the next scene, the criminals have already removed the bodies from the scene, but I somehow survived. I went on a vendetta. I try to crush the genitals of the criminals (who look very conspicuous through their underwear). At first, the gang of criminals takes over. I find out that one of the offenders is married and then curse his wife in some foreign language. The offender asks me, "What did you say about my wife?" Then I start to take revenge (details have escaped my memory).
I woke up terrified. I would be happy to hear opinions about certain possibilities and directions that the dream points to.
I am 21 years old, my partner is 28. We have been together for almost two years, a close relationship, including living abroad, a romantic relationship that also includes physical contact.
I am currently working in the banking industry and will begin architecture studies next year. My cousin is 29 years old and we get along very well, she is my soul mate, an empathic and hearty type. We have a lot of common interests and shared opinions. The dream took place in a hotel whose location is unclear in a dream. The language reminded me of a mixture of Russian and Greek (while I cursed), but the rest of the dream was in Hebrew.
I feel that the dream is meant for me only, and not to my partner or the rest of the people in the dream. An emotion that stands out in my dream is the feeling of loneliness. The feeling of helplessness, that there are so many people around me but no one can help me except myself. I had a sense of a kind of acceptance of the situation: "*Just absorb it and breathe in it until the nightmare is over. " Even after the killing ended only I survived as if everyone had left me. Again a feeling of being left alone.
A few months ago I returned from a long trip to the Far East. At the end of the trip, there was really some kind of traumatic experience. I thought I had overcome it, but apparently, I still have something to take out (the experience involved physical violence towards me and my partner). After the trip, I even participated in a Vipassana workshop, where the goal was to learn to breathe through things and to rely solely on yourself in solving problems.
The interpretation
I believe that the dream is really the emotional expression of the traumatic experience that you mentioned.
The dream explicitly describes the intrusion of alien, invasive, unbalanced and feeding energies into the private space of your consciousness, into the deepest scared place within you (symbolized by the physical body.) The dream presents the set of beliefs and/ or perceptions that your relationship holds. You Still do not feel safe and protected in your reality. The lurking energies are still there, hovering you, waiting for a chance to take over. And indeed, the chance arrived when your guards are off, in the dream state.
The purpose of the dream is to reflect to you this mental/emotional state, to release it but also to transform it. A certain self-work is required here. If you and your partner have not yet discussed the experience and the residues that the experience left on you, then the time has come to do so, and perhaps you can ask your cousin, whom you trust and love, to join the discussion. The purpose of the conversation is not only to vent and release the energies but also to transform the situation by choosing and making decisions.
It is a very good thing that you took responsibility and participated in the Vipassana workshop, but silence in itself cannot, in most cases, make the necessary changes of consciousness, in particular in such situation that involved your significant other. Your partner must be part of the process.
In conclusion
Albeit traumatic the dream serves an important purpose. It releases and reflects. Now that you are aware of what's going on, keep the inner work, claim your mastery vis-à-vis the invasive consciousnesses.Remember two things –
1. There is no force in the whole universe that is stronger than your own, that can force you to do something you do not want to do; and
2. You can never be destroyed or annihilated. Your existence is secured for infinity. You might forget about this fact from time to time, and hence the reminder.
Good Luck!
