Public speaking is one of the fears that I had which I never really admitted but tried to avoid as much as possible. I never found it easy to speak up. Always felt much more comfortable writing. Like when I write I can just make changes or rewrite if I have cut so many words. Even when I don't like it I can make a change instant. But when it comes to speaking, once you say it, it's said.
Whenever I had to speak publicly, I would always get nervous before my turn and think of the worst case scenarios such as I'll forget everything, I'll stutter, I'll loose my train of thought all together. Sometimes I would really know what I wanted to say, but then when the time came my brain would suddenly be emptied.
However, weirdly enough I find it a lot easier to speak normally around familiar people. So much so that I realized that I am not afraid of talking per say,
but being listened to.
People may find it easy and say "Oh, I am really good at it," but that's not the point or it's not solving my issue any way. What you can do telling me isn't going to make issue go away. So, it's not something that I can snap my fingers like Thanos did, hehe. I wouldn't say, "Oh yeah, I have fully overcame my fear" it was not like that. It was more of a gradual process that happened because of the Monday Hangout in the hive learners community.
Even participating in the hangouts made me nervous at first. Listening to people talk and having ideas but then second guessing myself and by the time I mastered up the courage to speak, the conversation was already elsewhere. 馃槄
But I kept coming.
Sometimes I said a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes I probably explained things poorly. Nobody cared. Everyone just talked as friends would. Because of this I then stopped fearing that every word I said had to be perfectly formed. That took me a while to learn but was probably the most helpful lesson. I realized that mistakes when speaking were not shameful. That forgetting a word or two wasn't a bad thing. That stuttering or getting flustered wasn't the end of the world. It's just human nature.
To this day I can still get nervous when having to speak publicly. I won't lie and pretend that the fear simply dissappeared. But what has happened is that the fear lost its power over me. I can already see the changes, the difference is that I don't say anymore that, "I can't." I started to say, "I'm nervous and I will still try." And I think that is the biggest way courage showed itself in my life. Not by overcoming the fear but by going through with something despite it nonetheless.
Lastly, I would like to thank the platform of Hive, because my writing skills are improving day by day. Not only that but also my speaking skills are getting better.
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