Aristotle wrote, “All advancement in society begins with the development of the character of the
young.” This means that advancement in your life begins with the learning and practice of values.
You learn values in one or all of three ways: instruction, study, and practice. Let’s take note at each of
these more closely.
One of the chief roles of parenting is to teach children values. This
requires patient instruction and explaining values to them over and over again as they are growing up.
Once is never enough. The value—and the importance of living by that value—must be explained.
Parents must not only give illustrations but also contrast the adherence to a value, especially that of
telling the truth with its opposite, that of lying or telling half-truths.
Children are very susceptible to the lessons they receive from the important people in their lives as
they are growing up. They accept what you say as their parent as a fact, as absolute truth. They absorb
what you say like a sponge. You write your description of values on their souls, which are like wet
clay, so that what you write becomes a permanent part of the way they see the world and relate to life.
More than anything else, you demonstrate your values in your behavior.
Your children watch you and strive to emulate the values that you not only teach and preach, but also
practice. And they are always watching.
The Rockefeller family children were famous for being taught financial values at an early age.
Even though their father was one of the richest men in America, the children were given tasks and
chores to perform before they received their allowances. They were then instructed on how to spend
their allowances: how to save, how much to give to charity, and how much to invest.
As a result, they
grew up to become successful businessmen and statesmen, unlike children who had grown up in
wealthy homes who were seldom disciplined in money matters.
You learn values by studying them closely. The Law of Concentration
says that “whatever you dwell upon grows and increases in your life.”
What this means is that when you study and read stories about men and women who demonstrated
the kind of values that you admire and respect, and then think about those stories and that behavior,
those values sink ever deeper into your mind. Once these values are “programmed” into your subconscious, they create a propensity within you to behave consistently with those values when the
situation requires them.
For example, in military training, soldiers are continually told stories of courage, obedience,
discipline, and the importance of supporting their fellow soldiers. The more they hear these stories,
discuss them, and think about them, the more likely they are to behave consistently with these values
when they are under the pressure of actual combat.
The core virtue of character is truth. Whenever you tell the truth, however inconvenient it may be
at the time, you feel better about yourself and you earn the respect of the people around you. One of
the highest accolades you can pay another person is to say that “he or she always tells the truth.”
Much of your character is determined by the people you
most admire, both living and dead. Who are they? Looking over your life and history, make a list of
the people whom you most admire, and next to their names, write out the virtues or values that they
most represent to you.
If you could spend an afternoon with anyone, living or dead, what one person would you choose?
Why would you choose that person? What would you talk about during your afternoon together? What
questions would you ask, or what would you want to learn?
Consider this as well: Why would that person want to spend an afternoon with you? What are the
virtues and values that you have developed that make you a valuable and interesting person? What
makes you special?
You develop values by practicing them whenever they are called
for. As the Roman Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “Circumstances do not make the man; they
merely reveal him to himself.”
When a problem occurs, people tend to react automatically based on the highest values that they
have developed up to that moment.
We develop values by repetition, by behaving consistently with a particular value over and over
again, until it becomes a habit, and locks in so that we come to practice it automatically.
Men and
women with highly developed characters behave in a manner consistent with their highest values, and
they do so without thought or hesitation. There is no question in their minds about whether or not they are doing the right thing
