Thank God I'm an atheist. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. -- Sherlock Holmes, "The Sign of Four" Now is the time for drinking;

She's so tough she won't take 'yes' for an answer. Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, Jolt Cola would be a Fortune-500 company. If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, you'd be able to buy a nice little

Old musicians never die, they just decompose. Save the Whales -- Harpoon a Honda. Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read. -- Frank Zappa

User hostile. Sorry never means having your say to love. If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you. -- Muhammad Ali

Harrison's Postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. Now I can finally explain to everyone why I do this. I just got $7 worth of free stuff for working on Debian ! A computer

"The bad reputation UNIX has gotten is totally undeserved, laid on by people who don't understand, who have not gotten in there and tried anything." -- Jim Joyce, former computer science lecturer

The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier. A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. -- Groucho Marx How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking

I love you more than anything in this world. I don't expect that will last. -- Elvis Costello Ritchie's Rule: (1) Everything has some value -- if you use the right currency. (2) Paint splashes last longer

You now have Asian Flu. Thus spake the master programmer: "Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to be maintained." -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"

... The Anarchists' [national] anthem is an international anthem that consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of "Camptown Races". Nobody has to stand up for it,

so, what's the official way to get buildd to retry a package? prod it with a stick? prod neuro with a stick? yes. It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators. -- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman;

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual. -- Paul Shepard After 35 years, I have finished a comprehensive study of European comparative law. In Germany, under the law, everything is

A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is not worth knowing. For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. -- H. L. Mencken If imprinted foil

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. -- Eric Hoffer Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee. -- Snoopy "But don't you worry, its for a

"Mind if I smoke?" "Yes, I'd like to see that, does it come out of your ears or what?" If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven. You are as I am with You.

A fair exterior is a silent recommendation. -- Publilius Syrus Row, row, row your bits, gently down the stream... You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove. -- Tim Leary

It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. What, still alive at twenty-two, A clean upstanding chap like you? Sure, if your throat 'tis hard to slit, Slit your girl's, and