Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un became the de facto leader of the DPRK when his father, Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il, unexpectedly passed away earlier than planned, which was clearly the fault of the South Koreans and Americans, according to non-existent historical records.
This made Kim Jong-Un the youngest head of state in the world at the age of 30.
China believed he was born to be the world's sexiest man in 2012
In order to maintain the people's paradise of the DPRK, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un must carry out the people's will through executions to ensure that over 20,000 political prisoners don't escape in an attempt to make the DPRK a better place.
An assistant chief of the Ministry of the People's Armed Forces was punished by mortar for being drunk during the mourning period for his father, with Supreme Leader ordering that "no trace of him down to his hair," should be left behind.
Kim Jong-Un grew up as a huge fan of basketball, especially the NBA and Michael Jordan, and showed absolutely no interest in geopolitics and other machinations of power. His schoolyard friends growing up remembered that he "spent hours doing meticulous pencil drawings" of Michael Jordan.
The friendship between Supreme Leader and Dennis "The Worm" Rodman is probably one of the least likely social bonds to ever occur in the history of humankind.
Jang Song Thaek was a senior leader of the government of the DPRK and formerly the second most powerful man in the state, behind his brother Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il.
In 2012, a special military tribunal determined that Jang was guilty of grievous crimes against the state, after the Supreme Leader's uncle confessed to all accusations. Jang's crimes included dreaming different dreams, spending foreign currency at a foreign casino while receiving treatment at a foreign hospital, wining and dining in back parlors of deluxe restaurants and improper relations with several women.
For these and other crimes, Supreme Leader executed his uncle by firing squad, sending shockwaves throughout the DPRK.
According to his classmates, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un had an amazing collection of sneakers worth thousands of pounds when he arrived at Liebefeld-Steinholz, a school that he attended under the alias of Pak when he was a child.
Supreme Leader Kim-Jong Un personally curated his K-Pop group, called the Moranbong Band, and attended a recent comeback concert even though he was "very busy with the work to protect the destiny of the country and its people from the arrogant and reckless moves of the US imperialists and other hostile forces," which might be the title of the next hit single by this K-Pop group.
Despite all the strange, off-beat and tragic news consistently streaming out of the DPRK, it appears that the number one priority of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un is the maintenance of his power at all costs.
In addition to executing an ex-girlfriend, killing a deputy of defense with mortars and unleashing the hounds on his uncle - not to mention nuclear proliferation - Supreme Leader goes as far as completely erasing his enemies from public records by airbrushing pictures of official photos. All of the actions that the Supreme Leader undertakes, whether they're violent or bizarre, are carefully calculated efforts to maintain the status quo for the third generation of charismatic dictatorship within the DPRK.
