When I was little, the family eating together was like one of those customs or traditions that we just did. Just like how my mom kept nylons on the kitchen window, or how the broom’s place was always in the corner behind a door. Back then, I didn’t even notice it in movies, and I sometimes wondered if it was just my family that ate together — and I wondered why. There was a time my sister told me it was so we could manage the plate and reduce the work for the plate washer, lol.
It used to feel so random, but over time, I started to feel and understand the significance of it.
In my family, every day we would wake up.
In the morning, the children would prepare for school. Anyone ready would go on to have breakfast prepared by Mom to save time, and we would leave for school.
My mom probably ate after all the homework, and my dad before he left for work. In the morning, we never ate together. It was like everyone got ready and started a different path for the day on their own.
In the afternoon, of course, in school we never had lunch together, as we were in different classes and had different friend groups. My dad had his at work, and my mom had hers differently.
Then, after the day when everyone returned home, when it was time for dinner, we would all gather together. My parents ate from the same plate, and the children ate from the same plate.
At that point, it wasn’t even about the meal. We were together, and it felt like the joy of having a meal elevated the joy of being together; it was always a jolly time. We all started the day and lived differently, and at the end of the day, came back together as a family. Eating together is a huge symbol of trust. And trust is one thing that makes up a family.
But now, we hardly dine together. I don’t know why, but as we grew up, it just faded away. I think part of the reason is the belief that we are from a different age and time, and so we are leaving the tradition of eating together from old times—growing out of it. Unlike before, when my mom would just prepare dinner for everyone, now she asks what we want to eat and when we want to; in fact, she hardly dishes out our food anymore. Right now, it’s a serve yourself policy in my home. We choose what, when, and where to eat. Of course, that’s for the grown-ups—the ones my mom feels are old enough to make their own choices, because she is getting tired of telling us what to do.
Right now, my family is still a family that is one. But still, we don’t talk like we used to anymore. No gossip and laughs during dinner. It’s probably one of the reasons we don’t know each other deeply anymore.
But at least we still get to eat together once in a while, although it’s now mostly on special occasions and not like before.
I always tell myself I will pass on this tradition in my own family. But I still keep in mind that one day, everyone needs to grow and take different paths.
Thank goodness we have special days like Christmas, Easter, birthdays, and other special days we can come together again.
