“Discipline shapes a child's future, but, unfortunately, some persons can't see the difference between building and breaking,”
This is a very interesting topic, one that I always find someone who says otherwise and I end up arguing with the person.
Nigerians would say, “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” okay, yes, that is what the Bible said, but is that the interpretation? Funny some people don't even know it's from the Bible but still nevertheless use it to defend and justify their actions. But that is not what it meant.
Parents and guardians have different ways they use to discipline their children or ward, they choose whatever they see fit.
Discipline and punishment cannot be the same. Discipline is a tool for correction, teaching responsibility, and self-control. It isn't meant to instill fear.
Some people train their children the way they were trained. They feel the strict punishment and pain they faced didn't kill them so it's okay for their kids to face the same.
Effective discipline methods:
Discipline isn't something that should be spontaneous or a reaction. It is something that should be well thought out.
There are many ways to discipline a child without inflicting pain:
Positive reinforcement: also focusing on the good part of a child helps a lot. You can't just focus on the bad side, you have to acknowledge the good side. Give support, show appreciation and recognition, and even give rewards for good behaviors. Even a simple good comment like “Well done!" "That's good!” Will go a long way to encourage the child to adopt more good behaviors.
Setting clear rules and consequences: rules and consequences need to be made known to the child. And the child needs to understand these rules and consequences. The rules and consequences should be consistent because if enforced only sometimes the child would like to test the limits.
Good Communication and reflection: many parents react to bad behavior with immediate anger, either verbally or physically. And both are wrong. If a child does wrong, you can sit the child down, let the child know his or her wrongdoing, and let the child reflect on what he has done.
If a child is constantly punished without understanding the reason for it. Instead of the child taking corrections, resentment starts to develop.
Emotional intelligence: when children feel heard and not just know how to express their emotions but also understand yours. When you have a good connection with your children they are less likely to rebel.
Discipline is not just about correction— it should also be about instilling values.
Being a good role model is one of the best means of discipline I know. When you lead by example the children will follow you. When children grow it is what they see that they copy. So whatever it is you do as a parent, your child having trust in you will emulate the same behavior.
Also, give second chances. Discipline isn't always about correction; if you keep on showing and telling a child he did wrong, he might end up feeling like a failure. So instead give second chances and let the child know that mistakes are a part of life just as correction is.
And lastly, always pray, because people have done it all the right way, but it still looks like they did it in every way wrong.
In conclusion, I believe discipline isn't about control or instilling fear; it shouldn't have anger in it. It shouldn't have negative feelings and emotions mixed up with it.
A child is more likely to turn out good because they understand the value of making the right choices and not because of fear and punishments.
