I met with one of my very good friends this week, one that I have not seen in over 11 months. After just sitting and talking for over 5 hours, I departed my friend’s company with a few things on my mind.
1. The friends who you have something in common with
This is the type of friend who you may only meet on the weekends to go to a football match with, or the sort of friend who you see when you both pick-up the kids from school.2. The friends who you provide some sort of help to
This might be the friend who only calls when their computer is infected by a virus, or they need your help to fix their car.3. The true friends
This type of friend is very rare, since this friend only wants the best for you, and there are no other ulterior motives to the friendship. Now it is clear to me, that this friend falls under the third category, due to the fact I have known this person for over 25 years, and even when we moved to different countries, took different paths in life, we still have remained very good friends. I further measured this friendship against others I have had over the years, and again I see why this friendship has remained while others of faded away. Over the years I have had to give up on a number of friendships, because I believe that they were holding back or limiting my success in life. I say this because many people who you consider friends are nothing but “friend-enemies”. If you refer to the list of the 3 types of friends I mentioned above, you can develop a clearer picture of why friendships can, and sometimes should breakdown. I shall start with the friends who I have had, who fit into category number one.The friends who I had something in common with
These were typically school friends, or friends who I grew up with from the same area. In particular I remember one friend who lived on the next road from me. His idea of friendship was for me to always be below him in every form, from clothing to girlfriends, you name it. Once I began to aim for bigger things in life, the friendship became nothing but arguments and disagreements. If you should ever find yourself in a situation such as this one, the only solution is to be strong and end the friendship. I shall tell you why. When you spend your time having petty arguments with people, it does nothing to up-lift your life. Instead you waste time and energy, with someone who does not have your best interest at heart. You have to draw the line and cut these people off, before they start to pull you down to a lower state of mind. I mean, how can you think clearly about your success, if someone wants to call you on the phone to pick an argument about rubbish? The same can be said when you out grow a friendship. This normally happens, when a person does not move forward in life. So for example; the interest that you shared with that person 10 years ago have now changed. If you were to continue to spend precious time entertaining these interest you too will become stuck in the past. What’s worse is that sometimes these people will not accept that the two of you have become different people. They instead, tell other people that you have changed and now think that you are better than them. Again, the solution is to run as far away from these people as you can, and never look back. Since if you aim to move forward in life, a real friend will never try to hold you back.The friends who I provided some sort of help to
I had a friend who always wanted to borrow money. So I am sure that you can guess how this ended. Everything was fine and good when I was lending like a good little bank, but when it was time for me to be paid back, there were problems. I remember this friend becoming angry when I would ask back for my money. Yes, my money that I lent him. It got to the point where it seemed as if he was the one doing me the favour, when he reluctantly gave me back my own money. This was definitely causing me to become unproductive and so was limiting by success in a number of ways. Firstly, sometimes this left me out of pocket, and so I could not buy the things I needed for my own lifestyle. Secondly, I had to spend a large amount of time on the phone, or visiting him to arrange the repayments. I have come across many people, who have had this same problem with friends, so I will give you the same advice that I give to them - In life you should not make it a habit to always borrow, nor should you make it a habit to always lend. If you do not respect and safe guard the money that you work hard for, people will see this and abuse you. You should therefore be as careful with your money as you are with your friendship, since both can easily come and go. You should never allow a negative aspect of a friendship, such as this one to take your mind and energy away from where it should be, and that is thinking about the ways in which you can become successful and happy. The time you spend doing things for so call friends over and over again, without you benefitting, will reduce greatly from the time you could actually spend helping yourself.The true friends that I have had
The friend I mentioned at the beginning falls under this category, since once the friendship was formed; nothings so far has torn it apart. This is due to the fact that the friendship is based on respect and honour. So as long as we hold this respect and honour for each other, we will forever have a strong bond. So stop now for a minute and think. How many of your friends are true friends, and how many are helping to push your life forward? If you were to bring to their attention some type of news that benefited you and not them, how many of them would be truly happy? The friends you keep are very important to your overall success and happiness in life, since if they are not there to support you, but instead there to be a stumbling block. You will soon find that they are not worth the trouble and effort. A friend for example; who has no motivation to be a success, will soon rub-off onto you, and may keep you in that frame of mind for as long as you are with them. You have the choice to choose who you call a friend, so be careful when making that call. Feel free to share any experiences you have had with friends in the comments section below. Please remember to follow me
@yourfinesight for more like this.