I think one of the meanest things I've ever been told was that I'm the perfect girlfriend for a broke guy. My first boyfriend told me that and it sort of stuck. I understand that he said that because I never asked for anything and I easily gave when I was asked, as long as I had it but it wasn't really nice.
My next relationship went through that same path and well, I've never exactly mentally accepted the idea of getting into a relationship but that doesn't mean relationships don't find me one way or another.
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Recently, I found myself in a demeaning entanglement that I've been trying to get away from. Basically, this person has been anything but the broke boyfriend my ex told me I'd end up with, hence why we never really got to titles.
Anyways, I realized that whenever I get mad at this person, they always offer to get me stuff. It's an odd thing for me because I'm used to "broke" guys who can't usually afford to settle a quarrel with money so they opt for conversations instead.
I've never been the kind of person who likes having a lot of stuff so being asked "what can I get you?" rather than "how can we fix this?" gets me pretty pissed. For one thing, I'm a proud person so I have this assurance at the back of my mind that there's nothing this person can get for me that I can't get for myself.
This isn't to say that there are no conversations to fix issues, it's just the fact that I can't get them as often as I feel I want.
So for instance I'm angry about something that this person feels isn't worth my anger, they just offer to send me money to buy ice cream to "cool off". That just makes me angrier because I'm a proud person and I can afford my own damn ice cream.
Maybe I am the perfect girlfriend for a broke guy. As much as I like being given money, I don't always consider money first in a lot of decisions or plans I make. I don't think in figures of profit and loss, I think in terms of experience and well, purpose.
I'm still getting a hang of this. And until I finally set myself free from this foolish entanglement, I'll be using this as an avenue to learn to always say "yes" whenever someone offers to get me something. It's time for my pride to tilt a little to the back.
Do gifts make you forget your emotions?
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