In the last 2 years, I've restarted my life twice. I consider those moments to be restarts because they came with a lot of introspection and a realisation moment that hit me like a wave.
I got to those points when a lot of things I didn't want to happen just started happening and there wasn't much I could do but think about my next step. I realised that the life I was living wasn't good enough so I needed to do something new and try to make my life better.
The first time this happened was around November 2020. I had just completed my National Service and I had nothing to do. I had no job and money was hard to come by. I was living with my friend who at that point I felt was doing better than me and I couldn't contribute much to the house. Nothing hurts half as bad as feeling like a freeloader.
I was writing freelance and still writing on Hive but it just wasn't enough and I knew I needed to make a tough decision by going back to my parents' house. I felt like I had failed but I held my head up high and kept writing.
Eventually, things began to work out. I stayed home for about 5 months and I saw my finances get the boost they deserved and I was out of the water again.
The second time I had a life reset was in February 2022. I was still deep in writing and although my finance was not even a quarter as bad as it was in 2020, I felt like I wasn't getting a lot of things right.
My relationship at the time was ending, I had lost a lot of weight, and I wasn't making a lot of money from writing even though I had some assets. I felt I needed to do more to save myself from the danger I could sense so I took some time off to introspect.
That's the moment I decided to begin my journey into UI/UX Designs and I've been on that journey since then. Some days, like yesterday, I felt lost and somewhat hopeless because of my finances but I keep going. I know becoming great at the skill will do me a lot of good so while the money hasn't started coming in, I'm still working on becoming great at it.
In both instances, I got my reset from coming home to the peace and quiet of my parents' house. Here, I get the privacy and comfort I always need to think about my life.
To get that clarity, all I need to do is lay down and have an honest conversation with myself about where I am at the moment, how much I had and what goals I need to achieve by a certain period of time.
My goals, fears and needs keep me going. So I use them as tools to help me think and strategies when I see the need to.
I have never gained clarity from leaving the house but after my heartbreak this year, I took to working out and it helped me a lot. I found peace in sweating and well, I got extremely fit but it became unhealthy for me after a while.
For now, I'm okay with the path my life is taking and I'm hopeful for the possibilities. I have no doubt I'll have a reset again at some point and that's okay. Not being satisfied with your life is one thing, but putting the effort to do something about it is what truly makes you a hero.
