In 2017 I was unhappy after a breakup. I went through a week like a zombie, crying every minute, starving myself, calling everyone I felt like I could trust at the time, begging for a love that shouldn't even have been. I was rescued by my close friends and words from a book.
I currently can't remember the name of the book but the words were so direct at the time, I felt embarrassed with myself.
Some of us get to attached to our spouses that we let them take the place of God in our lives...
That was the exact place I found myself in. I had replaced God with a human and I was broken when that human was no longer available for me.
After that week, I used the second week to beg God and I made a promise that I would never fall so hard again. EVER!
The next year, I made another promise to be extremely happy as a person, and let a man only be a compliment to my happiness.
You see, in this part of the world, it seems almost a taboo for a lady to be happy on her own, even worse if she's old enough to be married but isn't.
I decided to be happy.
If I get married, I'd be happy to finally have legal and heaven based sex. But if not, I still have every reason to be happy.
I make plans for my life like a human should, I don't place conditions for myself based on the possibility of a man coming around. I know where I want to be, who I want to be and what I want to do. A man who shares these same values I have may exist, he may want to live where I want to live, allow me to chase my dreams while he chases his.
Happiness should not have conditions. It should just be happy.
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